When A Marriage may Cease to be A Bond? 

Part a: "I really have Failed - even in My Marriage! What Now?"

(are a more compassionate Biblical  interpretation of an ungodly marriage failure)

When A Marriage may Cease to be A Bond   By: Rich Puckett

("I was prayerfully meditating, dealing with the reality of God's real, negative chastisement, punishment, which includes divorce, for divorce is not one of God's initial blessing for all who experience it.. Most anyone who has taken a University course in the validity of "contract law" should know that both parties have to always keep their agreements, neither parties can change any of the agreement on their own too, and they do have to do and keep their part, and if one party refuses to do so they now  have wrongfully broken the contract and can be rightfully penalized for doing so. If one spouse is too lazy or too immoral to keep their part, and/or has lied in making the contract the marriage contract will fail next, be invalid thus.")

I must start by saying that not everyone will agree with me and can show many reasons why they feel as to some of what I am about to say is wrong. What I would like to do here is give a view that I have prayed much on and feel is the true intent of Gods word to us. It is not an excuse to separate or divorce but rather a real look at real life. I think God is more gracious and understanding then we sometimes like to give him credit for. I think that in our zeal to be obedient we sometimes misrepresent the mind of God. Marriage and what God intended is often decided based on the way that many leaders in the church interrupt the bible and not always with peace being in mind. The union between man and woman is most important and is liked always to the union between man and God, and more so his church and Christ.

One issue is does God change? I have heard it taught all my life that God does not change and is the same forever. Heb 13:8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever. The bible clearly say's that Christ is the same and being that Jesus said that he and God were one, one could say the same would hold true with God then. Yet there are many times record in the bible where God in fact changed his mind and did something different then he first intended to do. For example God was going to destroy all of the children of Israel because of there sin in the wilderness but Moses cried out to God in their behalf and pointed out that then the world would say see there God lead them out to kill them. When he chose to destroy the world by flood, he had planned to kill all the people on earth until he saw Noah who was a righteous man. So is changing of mind the on a decision the same as the man or in this case God changing. It is indeed splitting hairs so to speak but yet important in how you view many things in his word. I do think that God goal has never changed his desire to have people love him and serve him out of love. I think that his methods have indeed changed when something did not work.

When God created the world he gave no law, talked, and walked with Adam. The only law was his words given directly to mankind. The world did not obey him and sinned so he started over with Noah and his family still no law was given but that of his will and left to man to do it out of obedience. I think as God watched the world grow again he became increasingly unhappy with man because man when left to deciding right from wrong was like a kid in a candy store with out any restrictions. Thus there came a time when God put a new plan together it was his law that he gave to Moses to give to his people. When even with a set of written stands and ideal God wanted his people to follow they still disobeyed, He chose to send his son. I know many disagree with me on the plan some feel it was always his plan to give his son's life on the cross, as I read the bible and understand his word I do not agree. It was his plan to send his son yes and for us to follow him and love him but I do not think at the time he created this world he planned on his son dying on the cross.

The point is this, God, what he hated at the time he gave the law I think he still hates today. His view has not changed just his methods.

When God made man and placed him in the garden he saw that out of all the creatures he had made there was no suitable spouse for man.

Gen 2:15 And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

Gen 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Gen 2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

Gen 2:20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

Gen 2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

Gen 2:22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

NOTE: Adam made a statement then God set a standard.

Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Mark 10:6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.

Mark 10:7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;

Mark 10:8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

Mark 10:9 What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Mat 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?

Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

What God joins let no man break apart or do away with. This is very key to understanding the rest of what I have to say. You have no doubt heard it said that is a marriage made in heaven. The truth is few of the marriages are made in heaven or even with Gods seal on the union. There was no ceremony here by man but it was a union blessed by God. There are cases where God indeed chose the wife and led the man to her, take the story of Rebekah.

Gen 24:48 And I bowed down my head, and worshipped the LORD, and blessed the LORD God of my master Abraham, which had led me in the right way to take my master's brother's daughter unto his son.

Gen 24:49 And now if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me: and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left.

Gen 24:50 Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the LORD: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good.

Gen 24:51 Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master's son's wife, as the LORD hath spoken.

The fact is they did love each other and as the story goes on you can see that. There is one more thing of great importance that is that both Isaac and rebekah were people who loved God and chosen by him they were his people.

Today more often then not people marry for the wrong reason, and not out of love.

1 Cor 7:7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

1 Cor 7:8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

1 Cor 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

Sex is a wonderful gift from God and allowed by God to do several things. One it is the way to bring children in to our world.

Prov 17:6 Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.

Psa 127:4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

Psa 127:5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Two it is for pleasure between a husband and wife and shows each other's love.

Heb 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

1 Cor 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

1 Cor 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

There is one thing that you have that is yours and no one else can give it away and that is love. It cannot be bought or stolen only you can give it. The joining of flesh was intended to produce children and to be witness of your love for each other. Yet at no time did God ever sanction sex out side of marriage. In fact, the very act of sex in the law was the conformation of a marriage. Today folks often give their bodies to others in the mutual lust of the flesh and God does not want this. A woman who had sex outside the realm of marriage was called a harlot.

Gen 38:24 And it came to pass about three months after, that it was told Judah, saying, Tamar thy daughter in law hath played the harlot; and also, behold, she is with child by whoredom. And Judah said, Bring her forth, and let her be burnt.

Lev 21:13 And he shall take a wife in her virginity.

Lev 21:14 A widow, or a divorced woman, or profane, or an harlot, these shall he not take: but he shall take a virgin of his own people to wife.

Lev 21:15 Neither shall he profane his seed among his people: for I the LORD do sanctify him.

Judg 11:1 Now Jephthah the Gileadite was a mighty man of valour, and he was the son of an harlot: and Gilead begat Jephthah.

Judg 16:1 Then went Samson to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in unto her.

Jer 3:1 They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD.

Lust is the desire to have regardless of the cost its like fire in the heart that if left unchecked will lead you away from God and cause you to think and do things that he is not happy with.

Mat 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Rom 1:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet.

Rom 1:28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient;

Rom 1:29 Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers,

Rom 1:30 Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents,

Rom 1:31 Without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful:

Rom 1:32 Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

1 Cor 10:6 Now these things were our examples, to the intent we should not lust after evil things, as they also lusted.

1 Cor 10:7 Neither be ye idolaters, as were some of them; as it is written, The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play.

1 Cor 10:8 Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.

1 Cor 10:9 Neither let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed of serpents.

1 Cor 10:10 Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer.

1 Cor 10:11 Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.

1 Cor 10:12 Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.

1 Cor 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

Gal 5:16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.

1 Th 4:3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:

1 Th 4:4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;

1 Th 4:5 Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:

1 Th 4:6 That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified.

1 Th 4:7 For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.

James 1:14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

James 1:15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.

James 1:16 Do not err, my beloved brethren.

God never wanted man and woman to have sex outside of being married and to do so just destroys you. How can you have respect for yourself if you violate your own body by giving it away as if it meant nothing? You are Gods temple so if you defile your body you are defiling Gods temple. This is of course if you are born again into Gods family. For if, you have not been born again, or if you have not been converted and adopted into his family, that opens a new issue.

1 Cor 3:16 Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?

1 Cor 3:17 If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.

The unbeliever is dead until he comes to life by Christ. Therefore, what ever a person has done is not important to God when they come to him to be made whole. Yet it is important to you and your future for when a man is looking for a wife he wants a virgin just as the woman wants that too. Here are some reasons why, one is you want to know the person is clean and is not defiled with decease many of which is not seen with eye. You want to be able to set an example for your children. In addition, deep in all of is this part in our heads we do not want to be compared with someone else or their performance. It is natural to that if you had been with someone else and were making love to your spouse you would have doubts that would at some point creep in to your head and wonder was he or she thinking of me and is it me bring them such pleasure or are they thinking of some other person from the past. This would then lead to bitterness in the heart, then the question would come to mind, will they be faithful to me or seek to find someone that pleased them more in the bed. There are many other points in all this that could be made but that is not the focus of this writing. What is once two people are marred and separation comes to be.

First, I hope no one ever marries for the wrong reason, sex, lust, and companionship anything less then love. If you do you will wake up someday unhappy wishing you had not for you will find your life empty and hollow.

Notice the verses below be not joined to anyone that is not a believer. If you are a Christian, a marriage with someone who is not one too will only lead to two outcomes. One is they give their heart to God, which is not most often the case. Two that it causes you to fall back away from God and do things that would cause you to fall away and lose your place in heaven. Men and women in order to have peace in the home try to please the person they are with. Thus, you compromise your walk with God. I cannot stress enough that while you shop for a mate you shop for one that shares your dreams and loves and you love should be God first always.

2 Cor 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

2 Cor 6:15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

2 Cor 6:16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

2 Cor 6:17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you,

2 Cor 6:18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.

Therefore, what do you do now, you are married to a person who is a unbeliever and you have children. Yet your life is in agony and your unhappy and he or she is unhappy. Well you remember hearing someone say to you, you made your own bed now lie in it. It is somewhat true; you must seek God and pray as you live your life holy. This very act of living holy may cause many problems.

I know a man who married a woman that said she was a Christian and went to church all the time. It wasn't until after they were marred he found that she talked church and love but her life was far from one of the love that God said you would know his people by. She hated him and his work for God though she would play with serving God she loved sin more. Many times he found her bitter and was always negative to about everyone. Many times, she would lie to him repeatedly even about trivial things. She would cheat, lie, and mistreat the children. She hated his preaching and would try to cause confusion in every church they would go to. More then once he had to bail her out of jail because she would write checks with no money. Even at one point her bitterness was so strong she tried to kill him are hurt him by running over him with the car. His life was filled with pain but he loved her and tried to win her heart to him and to God. He would get angry at her for the things she did, and do all he knew to try to show her why it was wrong, and for awhile it seemed it would work and she would go to a altar and become the sweetest person you could no. Then when she would falter and make a mistake she would start to lie and cover it up until it drove her farther away from him and God. You see a marriage has to be one of trust and love with out trust becomes empty. Many times over the 20+ years they were together people would come to him and say you should leave her, the church once came and ordered him to leave her and still he stood by her hoping that if he loved her enough he would some how win her heart and she would see the love he had and the love of God. In many ways this is a relationship much like God had with Israel, he loved them always, forgave them many times and always wanted them to love him back. He even gave his son in hopes they would love him because of the son. This man had children with his wife, and tired to give her all the things on earth she wanted to all of his ability but nothing worked. Why do you think he did not leave, although he hurt so much so often. It was two fold one he loved her, and two he loved God more then himself. Then two he thought to of his children and their need for their mother so he stayed.

Paul tells us below that if you find yourself a child of God and in a marrage like that or worse you must stay. The child of God cannot leave but is to strive to win the spouse to God. Just as Isreal had a choice each spouse has choices to love, honor and so forth or to live a life of sin. No matter how great the sin is that they do except for the cause of fornication then they are bound together.

Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

1 Cor 7:39 The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

Yet, what happens if the unbeliever leaves on there own? Let me say it is hard to know who is or is not a child of God's. For how person stands with God is not for use to judge. Yet when two become married they become one and the works of the other will tell and show what you are. You might fool the church, you might fool those you work with but you will not fool the people you live with. You cannot say you are of God and be a liar, a thief, someone who curses and does all manner of evil. Well I guess you can say it but your own fruit say you are not, so it is just one more lie.

If that person leaves then Paul says there is no bond. The reason is simple, because a person that is not Gods is Satan's and are dead until they come to life. The issue then becomes can they marry again? If there is no bond, then its if there was no marriage in my thinking. Thus, I think this is one time in which you could marry again and it not be adultery. While you were married God saw the believer and because of that, one recognized the marriage, once that person chose to leave then the bond was gone and the covenant broken. Just as God took his promise and gave it to all of us because Israel was not faithful to him.

Therefore, the first step would be to purify your heart with God, seek his forgiveness, for there is a issue of sin, and wrongdoing. Did you knowingly marry someone that was not a Christian? If you did not like the above example then all you can do is seek to do your best for God and go forward. Trust him and his forgiving power and seek to find the person this time God sends to you.

"Yes I know many pastors will not agree with me, most of the learned will say this is wrong, yet I can say this your life is not over but a new chapter has begun so go forward and live for God.  But you still can only marry the person God has chosen for you, a christian one too.  (Rom 14:5 KJV)   Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind. for there are clear examples when divorce people remmarried and lived a goldy life such as Dale Eavns the wife of the famous cowboy  Roy Rogers. but don't ever seek a divorce that is sin still."

1 Cor 7:10 And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

1 Cor 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

This is the first commandment that he gives us God wants us to remain married and at peace with each other and him. This is also to those that both are believers. The following verses are to those where only one is really a child of God.

1 Cor 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.

1 Cor 7:13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

The believer may not kick the other out or dispose of them, but his or her love for God must extend to the spouse just as Christ extends his love for us.

Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

1 Cor 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

Because you become one when you are married the union is looked upon as holy, this does not mean that both will make it in to heaven because one served God and the other one did not. For every person shall answer to God based on who and what they are not based on who or what their spouse was.

1 Cor 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

If they are not willing to love you and do Gods will and chose to leave let them go. Moreover, any bond that was there is no longer in effect. God wants peace at home, as much as he wants it in his church. If two people really love each other, they will seek to find the road of peace putting the other before themselves.

1 Cor 7:16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

James 5:19 Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him;

James 5:20 Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.

We always have a mission, at home, at work, at school, at the market, where ever we are and its to save souls, to lead them to Jesus. So then we must not give up but hold the course and do all we can do. It may cause you great pain and be so hard at times you do not know how to go on, trust God he is there. In the story above that man came home one day to find her gone, oh she told all kinds of lies and did all she could to cause him to give up on life. He felt like a failure and the only thing that kept him alive was that someone reached and reminded him God had not left him she had. See for even in all the pain, the lying the other things over the years he loved her. Moreover, he had been happy not always with her or what was going on but with God. So there was always in him peace even while war was raging, trust God and give of what you have yourself, you do the right thing, let them stand before God being in the wrong not you.

I hope some of you find some hope and help in this. You decide if you agree or accept this for your own life. It is just the way God led me, and this is not an effort to tear down anyone's faith or teaching but to confirm to you that are lost and feel hopeless that if you look deep into his word, you still have breath, so you can go on for God.

I love you who I have not seen

I care about your hopes and dreams

So, let me help to carry your load

Let me pray with you

You are not alone,

I have walked where you walk now

I have felt the pain

I have felt so lost

When I looked for the church

They were sleeping

Thought I was not worth a look

Someone cared and called my name

Reminded me God was there

Therefore, I seek not to please the church

I seek to please the one who wrote the book

So my friend you walk a long

Nevertheless, you are never alone

My prayers are with you each day and night

I pray you will always see the light,

And that the wounds on you soul

Will be healed with Gods love and hope.

Thank you for reading and thinking bout the studies and thoughts God has given to me, God blesses you for he loves you.

My revision version of 'I failed'
 
Failed in your career, job, finances, health,  and you want my help too? well this Message clearly also indicates that continuing too look for comfort, support mainly, directly from any man and women, spouse even, relatives, pastors, lawyers, governments,  included  when we have suffered negative even like divorce, any other items is still really dangerous.. for personally  like it or not we need to keep our eyes always still  only on God and get his  help, guidance. Like it or not half of all my counseling is still related to broken marriages, one's need for friendship which next is still too often  even abused,  and we do have all of these now hurt  people   stuck in now a wasteland who next cannot go on too. Go back or go on to what? just more hurts?

"I really have Failed - even in My Marriage! What Now?

(Rom 8:28 KJV)  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

"I Failed " some would say and other may wrongfully replied so what, showing they really don't care especially about you and your hurts, and we get hurt, angry bitter some more.

WOW! "I have failed,  I am really hurt and upset at it", This is something I run into still too often it seems."I REALLY STILL  CAN'T MAKE THINGS TO COME BACK TO THE WAY THEY WERE BEFORE". Maybe you really are not meant to?   I find that I talk to so many in life and on the Internet that feel so guilty and lost because somewhere they have messed up. and they now do want still to have back now their old ways they had before.

(1 Ki 8:46 KJV)  If they sin against thee, (for there is no man that sinneth not,) and thou be angry with them, and deliver them to the enemy, so that they carry them away captives unto the land of the enemy, far or near; 47  Yet if they shall bethink themselves in the land whither they were carried captives, and repent, and make supplication unto thee in the land of them that carried them captives, saying, We have sinned, and have done perversely, we have committed wickedness; 48  And so return unto thee with all their heart, and with all their soul, in the land of their enemies, which led them away captive, and pray unto thee toward their land, which thou gavest unto their fathers, the city which thou hast chosen, and the house which I have built for thy name: 49  Then hear thou their prayer and their supplication in heaven thy dwelling place, and maintain their cause, 50  And forgive thy people that have sinned against thee, and all their transgressions wherein they have transgressed against thee, and give them compassion before them who carried them captive, that they may have compassion on them: (Heb 8:12 KJV)  For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.

Then what is the point of God, or of living if we cannot have our way?

(Mark 8:33 KJV)  But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.

(Luke 4:8 KJV)  And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.

(Mat 16:23 KJV)  But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.

That is part of the real main problem we have been living our own selfish ways and the devils. those of other men and women,  and not God's way, will  firstly. (Prov 14:12 KJV)  There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

(Isa 66:3 KJV)  He that killeth an ox is as if he slew a man; he that sacrificeth a lamb, as if he cut off a dog's neck; he that offereth an oblation, as if he offered swine's blood; he that burneth incense, as if he blessed an idol. Yea, they have chosen their own ways, and their soul delighteth in their abominations.

(Isa 66:4 KJV)  I also will choose their delusions, and will bring their fears upon them; because when I called, none did answer; when I spake, they did not hear: but they did evil before mine eyes, and chose that in which I delighted not.

(Isa 66:5 KJV)  Hear the word of the LORD, ye that tremble at his word; Your brethren that hated you, that cast you out for my name's sake, said, Let the LORD be glorified: but he shall appear to your joy, and they shall be ashamed. 6  A voice of noise from the city, a voice from the temple, a voice of the LORD that rendereth recompense to his enemies.7 Before she travailed, she brought forth; before her pain came, she was delivered of a man child.

(Isa 43:19 KJV)  Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.

(Psa 37:25 KJV)  I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.

(Jer 51:5 KJV)  For Israel hath not been forsaken, nor Judah of his God, of the LORD of hosts; though their land was filled with sin against the Holy One of Israel.

God will do a new thing, he will change you, your OWN heart, your own  soul if you let him firstly.

God will now next personally really help you, forgive you when you fail but he will not always still necessarily restore your old marriage, your old job, or what you lost, your money, house and your health included. Sometimes you have to go on.. (Phil 3:13 KJV)  Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

(Phil 3:14 KJV)  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

(Phil 3:15 KJV)  Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.

Well let me also now start by saying, nothing I’m going to say here is intended to take away any of the responsibility towards your past, existing marriage, of still even trying to make it work, or to make light of wedding vows. Nor I am not going to try and hold you blameless for mistake either, or my self. For we all sin and fail, we are sinners and we are not perfect and we need to see we do fail due to even our own sins, admit them, ask for God's forgiveness, help to go on. To go on where God leads us not where we want to go still.

(Psa 37:23 KJV)  The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.

I think I understand many of the battles that  you also do fight because I too have been there now firstly. 

And I am not going to go through all my own problems are why the marriage didn’t make it. I equally take the blame on myself, if I would have done many things different maybe we would have made it. After all 26 years is a long time to be with someone, and to have three wonderful kids, to have spent all my life and my wife’s life in church, what went wrong? The bottom line is both of us failed, we took our eyes off God and focused on ourselves, no we didn’t know we were, we didn’t plan on it, yet we did. The last symptom  about my own failures was that once the bond of trust is broke you are on an up hill battle from there on. What breaks that bond of trust is not just a husband or wife cheating or flirting with the opposite sex, it is not just  how they  handled the money, the lies you told each other. The unacceptable lack of real love, inability wrongfully to forgive by one spouse has caused, lead to the divorce procedure.. Theses sins lead to more disasters. And the negative Symptoms can be   a big sense of the other person not loving enough or lack of showing love. Still the reasons for the break up are many, on both of the spouses part,  and they can be eventually understood, and this here is not  intent of what God is placed on my heart it  is not to try and tell you now how maybe you can o fix the damage in a failed marriage in a few minutes, which is unlikely in every troubled marriages still too, but to address mainly those people that the marriage clearly has ready failed and are they now headed for the divorce courts. To talk to those that could people still maybe restore the home front but not guaranteed to do so still. Since both parties likely relay need to change too often and one can wrongfully still refuse to do so. The other one may have to go on. Go on to what you may say? God on with and to God firstly.

If the marriage still has any hope and you are headed for destroying that wrongfully there will be more pain too but what if it is relay too late now , too wrong  to do so? Impossible you mat say? Maybe I say!

First thing you still do have to do, do it right now. Is forgetting about taking your own life or someone else's... Revenge.. A Normal selfish and common temptation when a marriage is being ended. Why start there? Because two out of three Christians I talk to that are facing a broken marriage are also fighting the resulting still deep depression and the satanic real urge to take their or someone else's life. Satan the accuser of the brethren and their past life, failure, pride is hurting them and their failures continue to remind them they have failed and continue more to hurt them too, they  are still now solely concentrating on self, not God even. Their relationship has mainly been around themselves and their spouse clearly too, and wrongfully had left God out of the picture almost. So know they do not know relay what to do and suicide, revenge on others is the first common and wrong  knee jerk reaction.

Many people sent high standards for themselves that most of us will fail and we next will personally greatly be disillusioned, depressed. We failed to understand what has let to our depression and failures as well.. Ambition and lust Goals not set by God but by ourselves and other people.

Lets look next at this kind of  resulting failure depression a moment, many do not understand it at all, they just can’t understand how anyone would ever consider next suicide, violence, revenge as a valid way of solving their problems.

Most people that reach this place are still real  people and if you see them on the surface you really won’t even know it. They sit in church ever week, they smile, they joke, they go to their jobs and perform well. They mostly aren’t out drinking or doing illegal drugs, they have kids and homes, and a broken heart, a marriage that has already failed or about too. They don’t sit and plan to do it, it and the devil it sort of sneaks up on them. In their hearts they know initially  it's wrong, but the mind and  head just won’t shut up.

At first persons from a troubled marriage felt they are deeply hurting because they felt still  so alone inside, and then if left alone even physically as well the weight next still becomes even more unbearable. So they do try to take the hint from books, tapes, bad friends, some even learn to talk I mean really talk to each other, make time to listen, to hold, to show love and caring and yet they cannot resolve the problem for the problem is also the other persons often. They can say I care, I love you, but if you or they can’t talk, if you or they don't, can’t listen to each other, if you are married and can’t still feel the pain in your heart for your spouse you are both in for really big troubles. And you next should not leave them alone, for long periods of time, you are clearly asking for a quicker failed marriage. If the spouse has to  relocate due to what ever reason go with them. If your husband has to drive over the road, and then you go with him, learn to drive a truck too. If you love your wife and Christ maybe you should consider a job in a factory, or selling shoes before you leave your spouse behind because next the real the pain without them next will almost kill you still too.. People too often and bad pastors, bad counselors too try to take the supposedly easy way, the way out of the marriage and it turns out to be the long wrong hard way for them in reality personally still. Why

(Mal 2:16 KJV)  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

(Mal 2:17 KJV)  Ye have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, Every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delighteth in them; or, Where is the God of judgment?

(Deu 12:8 KJV)  Ye shall not do after all the things that we do here this day, every man whatsoever is right in his own eyes.

The resulting marital, divorce depression slips in, the hours of watching TV, soon you don’t even know what was on, you don’t hear the words, then you find you don’t want to go to the store by yourself, you don’t want to eat, cause nothing is worse then eating alone. Who really enjoys sitting in a restaurant with no one across from you? You next even find no joy in a movie or going any place so you sit alone. You find yourself reaching out to just talk to anyone, thus chat rooms, and ICQ, and still all of this is a sure way to end up getting hurt more, and more but why? Firstly you are trying to fill in the God shaped vacuum in your own life with a replacement for God himself likely still.

(Jer 2:13 KJV)  For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water. (Jer 4:22 KJV)  For my people is foolish, they have not known me; they are sottish children, and they have none understanding: they are wise to do evil, but to do good they have no knowledge. (Jer 4:23 KJV)  I beheld the earth, and, lo, it was without form, and void; and the heavens, and they had no light.

Really do now Stop taking worldly advice of Looking to be loved, looking for love in the wrong places and this still is what most people do wrongfully next too.

(Jer 29:32 KJV)  Therefore thus saith the LORD; Behold, I will punish Shemaiah the Nehelamite, and his seed: he shall not have a man to dwell among this people; neither shall he behold the good that I will do for my people, saith the LORD; because he hath taught rebellion against the LORD.

 Looking for,  to  the first substitutionary spouse, person that seems to care about you. You are so hungry to want to be loved and feel needed, trouble is most are dogs in worse places and shape then you are. Many people do lie to you and give you bad advice, for they still mostly seek only what you can do for them personally physically, while there are some wonderful people even on the net, but I assure you most are not. Not even in churches.  Why be surprised, they are the same people you see in the grocery store and wouldn’t even consider to carry your bags to the car for you. Yet on the net you may become invisible and so are they, you let go a side of you, you never show when eyes are upon you. You may unload your heart, to people on the net, at work, at churches, elsewhere and then you find out the truth too late, they really don't care to help you, they only pretended they did, and you are even more crushed. You many next find some of the words of love and all the sweet messages,even  the small gifts exchanged, even the casual meeting were all designed maybe to solve  a need of being alone or wanting sex and not so much really them personally still caring for you, or really wanting you mow too and you will be more disappointed, more depressed.

(Mat 6:31 KJV)  Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? 32  (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. 33  But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. 34  Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

You still may seek to have your friendship need fulfilled.  But the person you are talking is seeking something else totally differently still.  It is a  fact is that you will end up being hurt at least three to five times next even by people you think love you even on the net before you may even  find one that is sincere. Well that certainly doesn’t means that people, even churches, even  the net is not a way to find someone again next  in your life. Just face it knowing they are on the net are really still unresolved troubled persons also looking for the same reasons you are. They are hiding in a way from the world; this is a easy way to cover something up. You say how can I be so sure? The real undeniable experience and the words of so many that have counseled and that  have been there. The critical point here also is that is any relationship that even has to start with deceit or a lie is one bound for failure even friendship. Most people lie every 3 to 5 minutes still.  I met a person that says they  just want a friend, sends me a picture, weeks later after in fact we found we could be friends, and he next says said gee I’m sorry I didn’t send you my real picture. I asked why? Because I am only 5 feet tall and weigh 260 pounds. Why am I saying all this, because it leads to deep sense of lost inside, you end up feeling you can trust no one at all. No one really cared about the real you.

So another important  lesson : Be honest 100% from the beginning, while you do also use appropriate declare too,  and accept nothing less than full honesty from all those you do  talk to. Don’t add to the pain, the frustration and fear of the truth coming out but don't accept the liars still too  If you are fat, bald, bad eyes, no leg, been divorced ten times, gone to jail, what ever don’t fully hide it. If a person is worth being a friend to, and if they are worth falling in love with you must always still be open and honest.  Any Relationships built on dishonesty, false pretenses cannot work next for the good of both parties. Likely this was why the first relationship you had with your sponsor, pastor, spouse, relative had  failed you, they had leaned how to deceive, lied to you.

Now too often still  you find yourself afraid to even trust those that call themselves Christians for they too have and do  let you down. Again why be surprised? These are the same type of people that sit in the church ever Sunday, sing there songs, preach, and smile at you and shake your hand hoping you sit in the back away from them. The same ones that see you in a short dress and wrongfully  think I wonder how she is in bed, while they shake your hand and smile and say oh God is so good, and its so good to see you. They hope you go to the choir and sit on the front bench and they too do  forget to put your knees together when you sit down. They are the same women that may flirt with you with their eyes and hold your hand to long, the ones that you know and so does anyone else paying attention is also in trouble at home with her hubby. They never talk, never are together and body language says for all to hear, I wish he would sit some place besides by me. O.K. I’m being blunt and honest, let me go ahead, if I’m going to be in trouble let me go all the way. There really is nothing good in most men and women in reality.. beware of men.

(Mat 7:15 KJV)  Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16  Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17  Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. 18  A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 19  Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 20  Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. 21  Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. 22  Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? 23  And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. 24  Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: 25  And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.

It’s the same too often bad preacher that while he’s praying for you, he really likes laying on of hands, he hopes you will fall out in a way that gives a good view, he wants to hug and you can feel he pulls you a little closer then he should. He’s the guy that can’t take his eyes off you while he preaches, and always seems to find a way to talk to you, oh asking such innocent questions. he has wrong, false motives for caring about you too.

 My advice is learning to read the signs in person and that will help you to read them on the net too. Its no wonder you feel so alone and lost and with out hope, 80% of the Christians should be called Satan's followers still, for they are not truly of God. I’m sorry I too have spent all my life in church and around preachers, I have learned more dirty and slanted jokes from them then on any job. I have them make more comment bout the ladies in a suggestive way then the guys at work, at least the ones at work do it in the open, and you know what they are.

Mat 7:15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.

Let me say preachers are human, just like you are, so they mess up. The problem isn’t messing up it’s the undeniable and unrepented of hypocrisies that’s still their problem.

1 Pet 1:25 But the word of the Lord endureth forever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.

1 Pet 2:1 Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings,

All this adds to a greater feeling of lost hope, you pray and God don’t hear you? Have you been there, I have and what do you do then?

Mat 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

Mat 5:45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

Mat 6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

Mat 6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

Mat 6:7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.

Mat 6:8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

Mat 6:9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

Mat 6:10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.

Mat 6:11 Give us this day our daily bread.

Mat 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

Mat 6:13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.

Mat 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

Mat 6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Mat 6:16 Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

Mat 6:17 But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face;

Mat 6:18 That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.

This next verse is one we should be doing before we get in trouble not wait till we are all ready. It’s a part of the preventive medicine.

Mat 26:41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Mark 11:24 Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

Mark 11:25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

Mark 11:26 But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.

O.K. here is a big key as to why you still can’t be heard. You are hurting, your husband, wife, friend, lover, or pastor, church member, son or daughter have all hurt you. You can’t receive anything from God till you forgive yourself and them too, and how do you know you have really forgiven them?  Forgiving them means letting God now himself deal appropriately with them as he wants and not you. After all that is his job still and not yours.

(Rom 14:4 KJV)  Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.

(Isa 63:4 KJV)  For the day of vengeance is in mine heart, and the year of my redeemed is come.

(Rom 12:19 KJV)  Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

Thus by forgiving them and when the bitterness is gone, when the anger is gone, in its place you feel rather next really sorry for them and you will even pray for them and ask then also to repent.

I know someone that went to a motel to meet a preacher, one that said he was in love with her. And being her marriage was over, and so was his, this was supposed to be new beginning of life a spiritual marriage between to soul mates till the legal ones took place. Oh he was so hot to trot he paid for the rooms, they had talked on the phone and over the net and it was true love and happiness, till he kissed her and saw she weighed 200 lbs. He left her there, sneak away, now he’s Dr. Tim ____________ and is still leading other ladies to the motel room. Thank God this lady was a little heavy and didn’t go to bed with him for it wasn’t a marriage of souls he wanted, he wanted a marriage of meeting the supposed problem in his pants. If it were of souls would size have mattered, no. The real shame is he might be your pastor right now, it destroyed her for long time. One day he too may or will see he has failed his wife, and his church, and most of all God.

So don’t hold on to him or it but let God handle him or her. You seek God and let God show you what to do.

The thing is though when this happens something in you snaps, you still may feel so lost so alone, you may take pornography instead, bury yourself in food, into trying to do more good works to get favour with others, or drinking more alcohol, taking bad drugs, or you grab a bottle of pills you just take em. You cut your wrists, you grab that old gun off the shelve, I should be dead today and many of you, but for some reason God saved us. The reason is you still have a work to do for him and for yourself  and he still wants you to be  happy. Firstly

Mark 13:33 Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is.

Mark 13:34 For the Son of man is as a man taking a far journey, who left his house, and gave authority to his servants, and to every man his work, and commanded the porter to watch.

Mark 13:35 Watch ye therefore: for ye know not when the master of the house cometh, at even, or at midnight, or at the cock crowing, or in the morning:

Mark 13:36 Lest coming suddenly he find you sleeping.

Mark 13:37 And what I say unto you I say unto all, Watch.

(Acts 9:31 KJV)  Then had the churches rest throughout all Judaea and Galilee and Samaria, and were edified; and walking in the fear of the Lord, and in the comfort of the Holy Ghost, were multiplied.

(2 Cor 1:4 KJV)  Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. 5  For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ. 6  And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 7  And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation. 8  For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life: 9  But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead: 10  Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver us;

OK do you really want to die in that really unspirtual  condition now as well, no. you know you don’t. Here it is folks, you can’t help it, and the body reacts as if on its own. Someone needs you, just like you had needed someone. Be also there for them, and trust God. be a good friend and not a bad one for them too.

Luke 10:2 Therefore said he unto them, The harvest truly is great, but the labourers are few: pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he would send forth labourers into his harvest.

Luke 10:3 Go your ways: behold, I send you forth as lambs among wolves.

Now you have your mission in life. But I messed up my marriage is gone, my wife is gone, my husband is gone, I’m not happy. SO?

Mat 10:28 And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.

If you think your life is hell now, my dear friend you have no ideal how bad it is to lose your soul. Ok you messed up, you failed, some of those Christians (satians) will condemn you and not except you anymore. Gee the church may not let you preach anymore. LOL (laughing out loud) Like who called you to preach, who ordained you,

Gal 1:10 For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.

Gal 1:11 But I certify you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached of me is not after man.

Gal 1:12 For I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ.

So why are you so worried bout those that haven’t learned to forgive or understand, those that think they stand so mighty and right, the only ones saved.

Mat 10:17 But beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues;

Mat 10:18 And ye shall be brought before governors and kings for my sake, for a testimony against them and the Gentiles.

Mat 10:19 But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak.

Mat 10:20 For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you.

Mat 10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.

Mat 10:22 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.

Mat 10:23 But when they persecute you in this city, flee ye into another: for verily I say unto you, Ye shall not have gone over the cities of Israel, till the Son of man be come.

Mat 10:24 The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord.

Mat 10:25 It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master, and the servant as his lord. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more shall they call them of his household?

Mat 10:26 Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known.

Mat 16:6 Then Jesus said unto them, Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.

Mat 16:12 Then understood they how that he bade them not beware of the leaven of bread, but of the doctrine of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.

Mark 12:38 And he said unto them in his doctrine, Beware of the scribes, which love to go in long clothing, and love salutations in the marketplaces,

Mark 12:39 And the chief seats in the synagogues, and the uppermost rooms at feasts:

Mark 12:40 Which devour widows' houses, and for a pretence make long prayers: these shall receive greater damnation.

Ok admit it was the way I once was too, I thought the rulebooks were the way to go, that I had the answers was always right. And don’t this sound a lot like your pastor? He can’t wait to lay hands on everyone, he can’t wait to put on his robe and sit in his big chair on the stage, he brags bout the people he knows, couldn’t say a real prayer cause he don’t know how to pray. Ok so you don’t like it the way I see it I’m sorry. I have been almost ever kind of church in America and those verses hit home with most pastors and preachers. In case I miss something look at this one, how many times do you hear bout money in the church? Look in the parking lot, what kind of car is your preacher driving while you can’t afford a good heap. What kind of suit does he have on, ever notice how many AG preachers that have big diamond rings?

Luke 12:15 And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.

Word of advice to church members a preacher that also handles the church money your asking for trouble. Not because he means to be a theft, but why would you want your husband or wife to live with the opposite sex and them naked. You don’t think something would evenly happen that shouldn’t, wrong.

Phil 3:2 Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the concision.

Col 2:8 Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.

Col 2:9 For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily.

Col 2:10 And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power:

Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

Luke 6:38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

John 3:17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.

John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.

God is not condemning you for messing up you are condemning yourself. Stop it. Who cares if others don’t know what God is telling you. You know!

John 8:10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?

John 8:11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

John 8:12 Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

Rom 8:8 So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

Mat 12:41 The men of Nineveh shall rise in judgment with this generation, and shall condemn it: because they repented at the preaching of Jonas; and, behold, a greater than Jonas is here.

Mat 12:42 The queen of the south shall rise up in the judgment with this generation, and shall condemn it: for she came from the uttermost parts of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and, behold, a greater than Solomon is here.

Look Christ is out leader our savior, he loves you, he is whom you serve, and he is not here to condemn you. He is not here to say your life is over cause your marriage failed. You can’t undo what you did or your spouse did but you can go on and serve him.

1 John 3:20 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.

1 John 3:21 Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.

1 John 3:22 And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.

1 John 3:23 And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.

1 John 3:24 And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.

1 John 4:1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

1 John 4:2 Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:

1 John 4:3 And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.

1 John 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

So where do we go how do we win? How can I get back right with God? You can not undo the wrongs you done. You can say you’re sorry, you can pay restitution, you can still not undo what is done, but you can go forward. You can learn from it and be better for the lessons you have learned.

just when you are the lowest and the storms are high..

there is a wind that blows in the sky,

the clouds they gather dark and drear.

the wind it blows and the storm seem worse here,

then the clouds by the winds strong tide,

as if by there own break apart and hide,

and then they are gone.

and sunlight beams across the sea

and we wonder why the storm had to be

but the beauty of the sun would have been missed

if in this life all was bliss,

so be not frightened of where you are,

hang in and you will live to see the stars

I wrote this poem the other nite while talking to a friend that is just where this talk is. My heart bleeds for my friends who find them selves in this place. You see I was there and I need help, someone that would show me the right things. Instead I found the pastors I had known for years condemned me. I got email telling me how I was bound for hell. Funny they never asked if I had done all these things tossed at me, I was just guilty. You know they didn’t look to see what blame my wife may of shared, it was all me. I’m sure you have been there too. Then thank God there are Christians, who did reach out, they did the best thing they could do. Let me talk, listened and did not ever once condemn me, they prayed, I was on so many pray lists, and they loved me. Some called me long distance, some gave me there numbers and said just call collect. I cry now for these are real men and women of God. They never cared if it was she or I, they just wanted one thing, me to be right with God again and go forward. So thank you my friends, Thank you Dawn, and Hillary, Sabrina, Jezz, Terry, Brenda, Deena, Merry, Sharon, and so many more but most of all thank you God. You sent me Linda, and we make a great team serving you again.

What I had to do so will you! Forget bout blame, you are guilty as much as the one that hurt you.

Mat 3:2 And saying, Repent ye: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

Mark 1:15 And saying, The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent ye, and believe the gospel.

Luke 13:3 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.

Luke 13:4 Or those eighteen, upon whom the tower in Siloam fell, and slew them, think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in Jerusalem?

Luke 13:5 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.

Acts 2:38 Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Acts 3:19 Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord;

Acts 3:20 And he shall send Jesus Christ, which before was preached unto you:

Acts 3:21 Whom the heaven must receive until the times of restitution of all things, which God hath spoken by the mouth of all his holy prophets since the world began.

Acts 3:26 Unto you first God, having raised up his Son Jesus, sent him to bless you, in turning away every one of you from his iniquities.

Acts 4:1 And as they spake unto the people, the priests, and the captain of the temple, and the Sadducees, came upon them,

Acts 4:2 Being grieved that they taught the people, and preached through Jesus the resurrection from the dead.

Acts 8:22 Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee.

Acts 8:23 For I perceive that thou art in the gall of bitterness, and in the bond of iniquity.

Acts 17:30 And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent:

Rev 2:4 Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.

Rev 2:5 Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.

Rev 2:14 But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and to commit fornication.

Rev 2:15 So hast thou also them that hold the doctrine of the Nicolaitanes, which thing I hate.

Rev 2:16 Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth.

Rev 2:20 Notwithstanding I have a few things against thee, because thou sufferest that woman Jezebel, which calleth herself a prophetess, to teach and to seduce my servants to commit fornication, and to eat things sacrificed unto idols.

Rev 2:21 And I gave her space to repent of her fornication; and she repented not.

Rev 2:22 Behold, I will cast her into a bed, and them that commit adultery with her into great tribulation, except they repent of their deeds.

Rev 2:23 And I will kill her children with death; and all the churches shall know that I am he which searcheth the reins and hearts: and I will give unto every one of you according to your works.

Rev 3:2 Be watchful, and strengthen the things which remain, that are ready to die: for I have not found thy works perfect before God.

Rev 3:3 Remember therefore how thou hast received and heard, and hold fast, and repent. If therefore thou shalt not watch, I will come on thee as a thief, and thou shalt not know what hour I will come upon thee.

Rev 3:18 I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see.

Rev 3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

Rev 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.

Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.

Luke 17:4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

2 Cor 7:3 I speak not this to condemn you: for I have said before, that ye are in our hearts to die and live with you.

2 Pet 3:17 Ye therefore, beloved, seeing ye know these things before, beware lest ye also, being led away with the error of the wicked, fall from your own stedfastness.

2 Pet 3:18 But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.

So what are you waiting for, you messed up, you failed, you thought and maybe even tried to take your life, you are miserable, give it up go pray, pray what with repentance, without bitterness or anger, and you will win to be the best Christian you can be. In fact I think you can do more for God then most others because you have also realy been there. Remember you are loved, I love you and though I haven’t seen you, I care and know not your name, but we shall meet some day, we have much in common you and I, lets meet in a few years on the street of gold, you know the place by the crystal sea, we’ll sit down on the banks and not remember any of the pain we have here.

God Bless you my friend

2 Cor 13:11 Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you.

 http://www.geocities.com/tuppinsinmo/whena.html

 

Part b: "I really have Failed - even in My Christian Marriage! What Now?"

The Marriage and Divorce of Christian persons

The Bible is undeinably clear in its teaching that the marriage relationship is a permanent one. I also have never read one verse in the Bible where God, Jeus, the Holy Spirit, the Apostles, had approved divorce OF TWO BELIEVERS IN JESUS CHRIST.

The whole idea of divorce is diametrically opposed to the marriage plan as it was instituted by God. Mind you not everyone who professes to be a christian now realy is as well,

From the very beginning God intended one man for one woman and no more. Marriage is for life.

The person who utters the solemn vow, “Till death do us part,” and  practises divorce is a liar and a hypocrite. Remember, God still holds the marriage contract.

(Psa 73:6 KJV)  Therefore pride compasseth them about as a chain; violence covereth them as a garment.

(Ezek 18:4 KJV)  Behold, all souls are mine; as the soul of the father, so also the soul of the son is mine: the soul that sinneth, it shall die. 5  But if a man be just, and do that which is lawful and right, 6  And hath not eaten upon the mountains, neither hath lifted up his eyes to the idols of the house of Israel, neither hath defiled his neighbour's wife, neither hath come near to a menstruous woman, 7  And hath not oppressed any, but hath restored to the debtor his pledge, hath spoiled none by violence, hath given his bread to the hungry, and hath covered the naked with a garment;8  He that hath not given forth upon usury, neither hath taken any increase, that hath withdrawn his hand from iniquity, hath executed true judgment between man and man,

(Mal 2:16 KJV)  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

GOD HATES DIVORCE AND EVEN ANY OF THE  PASTORS WHO COUNSEL DIVORCE THEY WILL ALSO NEXT WILL REAP NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES, A GARMENT OF VIOLENCE AS WELL...

(Gal 6:7 KJV)  Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

(Gal 6:8 KJV)  For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

Reality,  let me say that sexual lust is the majority cause of most of the divorces, of the union of gays, lesbians,  and that sadly in my own expereinces many pastors, Evangelical, Pentecostal ones too, are still wrongfully sex addicts, thus they wrongfully want to keep the option of divorce open for themselves in case their spouse longer meets their OWN  sexual needs.  They are carnal, serving the flesh and not God still..  I know I have firsthand often exposed, fought and fired many such bad unrepenting Church pastors WITH GOD'S INSTRUCTIONS AND SUPPORT. One specific unrepentant  pastor that I knew who counseled divorce clearly as witnessed by his neighbors even next  lost the ability to love his own wife and his own children next.. such is reality..

(Gal 6:9 KJV)  And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

(Gal 6:10 KJV)  As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

The Lord Jesus Christ could not be in disagreement with His Father's ruling on the permanency of marriage. He said, “Have ye not read, that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:4-6; Mark 10:6-9 cf. Genesis 2:24).

If you want a happy life and a happy marriage, abide by God's rules and shun the demon of divorce.

Beware of all teaching and teachers, whether in or out of the organized church, which speak of “scriptural grounds for divorce.”

Such “grounds” are based on a single parenthetical phrase, “except it be for fornication” (Matthew 5:32; 19:9).  Formication is a forbidden act of still unmarried persons. Divorce here alone also is an option and not madndatory . In the entire context in which our Lord is still  teaching the permanency, or indissolubility of the marriage relation." Note the clear distinction between the words “fornication” and “adultery.” These two words are not used interchangeably because they are not synonymous in their meanings. The word “fornication” (Gr. porneia) means “illicit sexual intercourse of unmarried persons.” The word “adultery” (Gr. Moikeia) means “illicit sexual intercourse of two persons when either is married to a third person.” In the exception clause our Lord used the word “fornication.” The word He used had not lost its meaning, and we may be certain He expressed Himself clearly. The exception clause is not dealing with the sin of married persons.

Why then did Christ use the word “fornication” of that sin of which a “wife” can be guilty?

A wife in the Orient was so called when the betrothal or engagement was announced. This is evidenced in Matthew 1:19 where we read, “Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.” Actually he was not her husband by the standards of our western civilization because there had not been the consummation of the civil ceremony nor the marriage act. Mary's pregnancy was looked upon (by those who did not know the truth) as the result of fornication, not adultery. In verse 20 the angel added, “Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife.” According to our Western usage of the word “wife” she was not yet Joseph's wife, but by the custom of the Jews, a betrothed girl was called a wife. (See Deuteronomy 22:23-24.) Joseph accepted the testimony of the angel, believing that Mary had not committed fornication. Our Lord's enemies would not believe the truth about his supernatural and miraculous conception, and so they taunted Him with the innuendo, “We be not born of fornication” (John 8:41). The parenthetical phrase, “except it be for fornication” does not fit the case of married persons. Our Lord is merely saying that sexual unfaithfulness on the part of either party involved in a betrothal agreement, allows for the breaking of that contract. God's rule that marriage is for life has never been annulled.

(Once your are married there is no divorce allowed..)

Listen again to jesus  Christ speaking on this . “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery” (Luke 16:18). This verse might appear to be disconnected from the rest of the passage, but actually it is an essential part of the context. The Pharisees had derided Christ for His teaching in the parable in verses 1-12. While they were legalistic in their demands upon others, insisting that Moses' laws be obeyed, they were guilty of breaking those same laws . . .

In answering their ridicule, Christ said, “The law and the prophets were until John: since that time the Kingdom of God is preached . . .” (vs. 16). He defends the law of Moses in verse 17, and immediately follows with His “Kingdom of God” teaching about marriage. The marriage rule in verse 18 preceded and superseded the Law of Moses. This is God's rule for His people.

Now examine our Lord's words in Mark 10:11,12. “And He saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.” In both the Mark and Luke passages there is not the “exception” clause. The word “adultery” is used, The message is unmistakably clear. The demon of divorce is condemned.

 Recently I read again Malachi 2:11-16. I am convinced that the prophet was strongly persuaded that God was not hearing the prayers of His people because of the multiple divorces in Israel at that time. What Malachi wrote indicates clearly that God hates divorce."  Dr.L Strauss Download Word Document http://bible.org/docs/splife/chrhome/mad.htm

(Mat 19:3 KJV)  The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
 
(Mat 19:8 KJV)  He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
 
(Mark 10:11 KJV)  And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
 
(Psa 37:27 KJV)  Depart from evil, and do good; and dwell for evermore.
 
(Psa 37:28 KJV)  For the LORD loveth judgment, and forsaketh not his saints; they are preserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.
 
(Psa 37:29 KJV)  The righteous shall inherit the land, and dwell therein for ever.
 
(Psa 37:30 KJV)  The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tongue talketh of judgment.
There rightfully is no doubt by  my own personal experience that Money hungry Hirelings, morally incompetent Evangelicals Pastors  are in a hurry to spread their faith for hopeful more monetary gains do even falsely counsel marital divorce, and aid in breaking up homes if necessary to do this if necessary especially in Calgary, Canada and even in other parts of Canada.  All Pastor should work only towards reconciliation. And no ifs, buts about it now too. As to the mostly pretentious , inadequate evangelical Pastors in Canada, God and  I still rightfully also do not accept rightfully their wrong doings quietly anymore too. God does not overlook these still unrepentant sins..
(Nahum 1:3 KJV)  The LORD is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the LORD hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet.
(Prov 29:18 KJV)  Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.
Here is some more irony, the last verse is one of the most misquoted verses too that I have come across.. the people who quote it leave out the part "but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." any proper pastoral vision must include him or her observing still God's laws.. all of them now too. That includes God's laws on divorce.. there is no divorce for two married  Christian believers under any circumstances.. under any circumstances.. God said so. ( Unless one Christian has clearly renounced God-- and it can , does happen too)

I had also now written in detail to many Pastors across Canada about my experiences in Calgary's evangelical Churches where too many spouses have filed for divorce cause they firstly did not have an adequate relationship with God, they did not have a real faith in God, thus wrongfully they were initiating divorce cause they were still mostly following their wicked reasons, sinful lusts, even desire to have more sex, money, power, and material things too.. they were now still followers of Satan rather and not of the Lord Jesus Christ.

(Prov 16:25 KJV)  There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

 The Human mind is very deceptive, so is the related  human logic and the rather twisted incomplete reasoning data we have tends to make it worse, and this is really all because part of the corrupted, fallen human nature resulting when Adam and Eve Sinned..   Thus even today Man, sadly many bad pastors do take the very simple clear  Bible verses and try to twist them to their false lusts. Simple clearly verses made by Jesus even like these ones..

(Mark 10:9 KJV)  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.11  And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

How clearly can it be? and yet next  like Eve's temptation in the garden of Eden

I have noticed that when I want to rightfully evaluate if a pastor, a professing Christian leader is right before God, has actually been called by God, I first do look not only at the types of books he personally reads,  but I also evaluate his attitude towards money, sex, divorce and I look at how he treats others in reality. I have generally found out that when a pastor is corrupted he tends to be also  corrupted in all of these areas too.

We do also need to be rightfully concerned now about the lost professing believers as well..

(Luke 15:7 KJV)  I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.

(Luke 15:3 KJV)  And he spake this parable unto them, saying,  4  What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it? 5  And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6  And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.

Note specifically  the promise of personally reaping "a garment of violence" for those who practiced divorced.

(Prov 16:25 KJV)  There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.

"Man too often still tries to do away with God's laws on marriage and to do away with God's laws  of no divorce and wrongfully.. Unhappy supposedly Christian  spouses even in evangelcial Chruches wrongfully want to divorce but also  want to remarry, for they wrongfully  cannot accept the will of God laid out for them, or God for that matter in reality.. a false sexual lust is part of the main  problem.. but also more it is a real personal lack of faith in God..  even a lack of faith in  (Rom 8:28 KJV)  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose... and that now means now your supposedly bad marriage or your past divorce now as well..

The real lack of faith in God causes these people to wrongfully consider  alternative explanations, alternative approaches to God's ways? Sound very familiar.. dioes it now remind of Abraham and his wife Sarah? where Sarah  had added a human approach wrongfully to God's way, will.. to get a son ! (Gen 16:1 KJV)  Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an  handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai. Sarah next  lived to regret her wrong humanistic approach as well to God's plan, will.. (Gen 16:4 KJV)  And he( Abraham)  went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.   5  And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee.  God next  returned Abraham to God's original will, for Abrham to have a son through his original wife as well.  (Gen  17:15 KJV)  And God said unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be.16   And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her.

(1 Tim 6:17 KJV)  Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;18 That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate;19  Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life. 20 O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called: 21   Which some professing have erred concerning the faith. Grace be with thee. Amen.

So all things do work out for the good  of those who love God, but the evil persons rather  fall into the pit they dug with their own hands still, next.. that includes divorce now too.. Too many times today many people even supposedly Christian persons they do  take an ostrich approach to the Bible, and their unrepentant sins.. they do wrongfully deny the Bible, History that there will be  any negative consequences too for it..

(Jer 8: KJV)    5  Why then is this people of Jerusalem slidden back by a perpetual backsliding?  they hold fast deceit, they refuse to return.   6  I hearkened and heard, but they spake not aright: no man repented him of his wickedness, saying, What have I done? every one turned to his course, as the horse rusheth into the battle.  7  Yea, the stork in the heaven knoweth her appointed times; and the turtle and the crane and the swallow observe the time of their coming; but my people know not the judgment of the LORD.  8  How do ye say, We are wise, and the law of the LORD is with us? Lo, certainly in vain made he it; the pen of the scribes is in vain.  9  The wise men are ashamed, they are dismayed and taken: lo, they have rejected the word of the LORD; and what wisdom is in them?

(We see do today see ample evidence today of pastors even distorting what they Bible actually says.. even on issues like divorce.. God says no divorce.. no abortion.. no murder... and no gays.)

10  Therefore will I give their wives unto others, and their fields to them that shall inherit them: for every one from the least even unto the greatest is given to covetousness, from the prophet even unto the priest every one dealeth falsely.

( if you look at this verse clearly you will see that divorce is God's punishment, never a blessing too.)

11  For they have healed the hurt of the daughter of my people slightly, saying, Peace, peace; when there is no peace.  12  Were they ashamed when they had committed abomination? nay, they were not at all ashamed, neither could they blush: therefore shall they fall among them that fall: in the time of their visitation they shall be cast down, saith the LORD.

( bad pastors will also pay a price for their lying, unrepentant sins.. that is why so many of them commit adultery now still)

13  I will surely consume them, saith the LORD: there shall be no grapes on the vine, nor figs on the fig tree, and the leaf shall fade; and the things that I have given them shall pass away from them.

(James 4:1 KJV)  From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members? 2  Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not. 3  Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts. 4  Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. 5  Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy? 6  But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. 7  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8  Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. 9  Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. 11 Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge. 12  There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?

(James 3:12 KJV)  Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh. 13  Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him show out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. 14  But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. 15  This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. 16  For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. 17  But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. 18  And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.

God has a good  reasons for all of us obeying his laws on marriage and no divorce now  too...

(Rom 11:33 KJV)  O the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! how unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out! 34  For who hath known the mind of the Lord? or who hath been his counsellor? 35  Or who hath first given to him, and it shall be recompensed unto him again? 36   For of him, and through him, and to him, are all things: to whom be glory for ever. Amen.

(Mal 2:15 KJV)  And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.16   For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting  away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. 17   Ye have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, Every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delighteth in them; or, Where is the God of judgment?

Like so many other Biblical doctrines,  social issues man mostly still perverts them.. that includes the topic of divorce too.. because of unbelief in God and lust too..

Now I have validly made up my mind  on the subject by doing a very thorough bible study of the topic.. but if you were to next read many other persons views they are so contradictory even amongst each other.. and I said God do I have to God now even deal with all  of this time consuming, conflicting presentations now again on the subject of divorce and remarriage? And I was next  surprised by God's quick answer, his voice to me directly.. "I hate divorce" and I have personally told you that clearly before too.. and " I  also hate, strongly dislike, oppose any Minister who counsels divorce".. well that was a quick and simple study.. and when anyone deviates from God's marriage standard  they become a deviate.. a pervert.. Ministers of Justice, Prime Ministers,  Presidents and this deviation leads to more and more social problems, social conflicts and not less.. you had started on a very downhill rocky, rough road when you became a deviate, a pervert.

(Rom 1:16 KJV)  For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. 17  For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith. 18  For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness; 19  Because that which may be known of God is manifest in them; for God hath showed it unto them. 20  For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse: 21  Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. 22  Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, 23  And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. 24  Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: 25  Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. 26  For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 27  And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet. 28  And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; 29  Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, 30  Backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of  evil things, disobedient to parents, 31  Without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: 32  Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.

(2 Pet 2:18 KJV)  For when they speak great swelling words of vanity, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through much wantonness, those that were clean escaped from them who live in error. 19  While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage. 20  For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning. 21  For it had been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than, after they have known it, to turn from the holy commandment delivered unto them. 22 But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.

An  immoral person had sent me an offer to purchase his useless  book on the Christian's right of divorce and remarriage. He said a second marriage was often better than the first.. He is clearly a learned deceiver, unbeliever in God,  he does work for the devil.. I rightfully  replied to him that I did not need more toilet paper I had enough, and I also rightfully told him I did not need someone to lie to me as to what was in the Bible for I do regularly read the Bible for myself. I also told him that I do not need to read a book written by a hireling prostitute. He is using the book to conduct seminars..  Yes I do rightfully have a problem and so should we all with the so called but still very immoral Christians persons, rather thieves who are still trying to make money from the Gospel, Bibles, tapes, videos, Books, seminars now as well. So should we all.  For  I issue all my  helps free.. and only false prophets like this false Minister do ask for and take early earthly  monetary rewards for supposedly serving  God.  I also told this false Minister  that God and Jesus spoke to me but it was very clear not to him..  for  this Minister he does not really know God, Jesus or the Bible's actual teachings..

Needless to say he was very upset at me.. and replied and said to me that I needed to repent for being unloving and unforgiving towards divorced persons.. but I am really still also sure he does not even know what the word "repent" means. It really means saying to God,  God I have sinned, I have not obeyed your very clear commandments in the Bible for a start too even on being married only to one wife and no divorce, I will now obey them and please forgive me for not doing so before. Now let God lead you as to what the right thing is for you to do next as well.. are you a Christian Divorced from a Christian spouse? then you have no right to a remarriage still till your spouse dies.. Not my rule, but God's.

(1 John 1:9 KJV)  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:10 KJV) If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

Wounded marriages facing divorce can be made whole but very unlikely by Canada's at least 70 percent still ungodly, immoral, lustful pastors, evangelical ones  included who wrongfully take the false, supposedly easier way by counseling , recommending divorce.. I know what I am talking about I only helped to remove many of them, very poor pastors from their churches in Canada, including three founding church pastors now as well. and what has the Mother in law to do with it? Recently it was in the sate of Washington where a police chief even shot his wife.. and recently the news media reported that Restraining order served on B.C. man hours before wife, mother-in-law slain- - MISSION, B.C. -- A man was being sought after his wife and mother-in-law were shot to death at a hospital had been served with a restraining order hours earlier for harassing his wife, RCMP said..  This same person later shot and killed himself when the police had found him.

These deaths are tragic and likely could have been prevented here and elsewhere too now ..if they had been adequately dealt with next not by easy divorce, restraining orders but by the proper pastoral counseling.. something our ostrich oriented  justice ministers wrongfully try to hide from, and I don't really blame them when 70 percent of the pastors are crooked themselves in Canada. In reality more women are filing for divorce than men, and more of them in western Canada than the east per capita.. but adultery is also wrongly rampant there too..

If a pastor, counselor, husband  wants to successfully deal with this he needs also to deal and expose these three items

A women tends not to file for divorce unless

1: She already in her mind, or in reality has a sexual partner substitute..

2: She has built up or acquired a cash reserve for the lawyers, divorce court battles..

3: She has the wrong immoral support of her family, friends, associated, community to carry out this wrong adulterous divorce..

Thiose are the facts of life as Jesus told me relating to divorce..

- A women has the false immoral  support of her family, and false friends, sadly even pastors,  when she applies for divorce.. they are immoral like her and they need to be told this too..  do not hesitate to tell them the whole truth

- A women does not file for divorce unless she in her  own real mind she has a substitute sex partner planed next already too.. she will next rush to him.. even though it is mostly also a fantasy not known to others .. unrealistic expectations of life.. a key contributory cause to the sexual divorces mostly today... but you had already agreed with this I see..

- Also do tell Her the wife  that before she tries to remove the beam from her husband she needs to still first deal with the beam in her own eye.. first and she needs to let Jesus still make any of the changes in the marriage .. in his time and his way..

- A women also  does not  file for divorce unless he has at least 10- 15, 000 dollars stashed away to pay the lawyers, and she also expects to make money form the divorce.. and that still makes her an sexual and now economic prostitute.. admit it or not this is a fact.

- and the way she is now treating her husband is the sadly way she responds to God as well in realty and that too still is unacceptable.

(Eph 5:23 KJV)  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

I also whole heartily agree that a wife going behind her husband's back to her relatives, to her pastors, to others is immoral.. is a sin of rebellion as well and I pray she also really now, next repents of this and stops doing this as well.

All the cases where I was able to reconcile the partners, they had to admit. deal with the truths... in other words they had to repent, of these sins, admit how sinful they themselves were, are. .. all of them.. and the still lazy people who do now really not stay in God's word, cause they are spoiled rotten and undisciplined now too  God in irony allows them to be divorce, to be punished..

Now I have often seen, encountered  this pattern. For example I had told one of my business partner that his wife was having an affair and was apllylling to divorce him.. he totally disbelieved me.. could I blame it.. it is a shocking jolt to the system. I knew it cause she had asked me out on a date that I had rightfully turned down. He was now troubled by what I had said and he went home and thought about.. He decided that he would go through his wife personal affairs and discovered that she had salted away, hidden from him 15,000 dollars. He had  found a bank deposit book in one of her boots. But this man denied his wife was filing for her divorce or was having an affair. A few weeks later during a heated  quarrel with his wife, his wife blurted out, you are not the only one I have slept with, I have slept with two other guys now as well.. A few months later she field for divorce and divorce him. The 15,000 dollars was given to her by her brother for the divorce.. .

(Prov 31:12 KJV)  She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

(Exo 20:14 KJV)  Thou shalt not commit adultery.

(Exo 20:17 KJV)  Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

(Mat 5:28 KJV)  But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

(Mat 5:32 KJV)  But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

(Mal 2:16 KJV)  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away:9 Divorce)  for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

I want you also to specifically also not still note God's warning of promise of clothing of violence will follow in the future all of those who DO STILL pursue divorce..

Many people get depressed rightfully when they do really  see what other people are really like today... even among their own bad family members, bad pastors, bad elders, bad politicians, bad lawyers.. etc. It is still a sin to follow men over God as well.

God is not taken by surprised by any of this he still has all things under control

(2 Pet 2:7 KJV)     And delivered just Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked: 8  (For that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed his righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful deeds;) 9  The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished:

(John 2:24 KJV)  But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, 25  And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man.

Sadly divorce is on the increase even among Christians wrongfully , with more women filing for divorces than men as well

Telling all the parties the truth is the first part..  you can start by sending them this.. if you really do now  want to fully help, deal with this practically.

(Mal 2:16 KJV)  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

(Jer 5:8 KJV)  They were as fed horses in the morning: every one neighed after his neighbour's wife. 9 Shall I not visit for these things? saith the LORD: and shall not my soul be avenged on such a nation as this?

(Jer 9:1 KJV)  Oh that my head were waters, and mine eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night for the slain of the daughter of my people!  2  Oh that I had in the wilderness a lodging place of wayfaring men; that I might leave my people, and go from them! for they be all adulterers, an assembly of treacherous men.

(Isa 6:5 KJV)  Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.

(Jer 23:9 KJV)  Mine heart within me is broken because of the prophets; all my bones shake; I am like a drunken man, and like a man whom wine hath overcome, because of the LORD, and because of the words of his holiness. 10 For the land is full of adulterers; for because of swearing the land mourneth; the pleasant places of the wilderness are dried up, and their course is evil, and their force is not right. 11 For both prophet and priest are profane; yea, in my house have I found their wickedness, saith the LORD.12  Wherefore their way shall be unto them as slippery ways in the darkness: they shall be driven on, and fall therein: for I will bring evil upon them, even the year of their visitation, saith the LORD.

Firstly a wife (or a husband)  who is proceeding with divorce is being led by her sexual hormones, lusts , and that is the number one reasons for almost all of the divorces by women as well today.. they watch too much sex on TV, women's magazines, advertisements and they think they should have the same life.. sex does not make one happy.. Jesus alone does. (Psa 51:10-12 KJV) "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. {11} Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. {12} Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit."

"King Arthur had a wife who next wanted Lancelot to seduce her".. this kind of demonic fantasy is the unacceptable reality of many ungodly women even today.

People who could  approve of divorce, could also next approve of  abortion and would approve of murder next too..

The people who get divorce on the average will increase their health problems due to the related stress of a divorce, cause divorce is from hell and not from God..

-and they never  experience the real fruit of the Holy Spirit of peace, gentleness.. during or after...

- they will live on the average of 8 years less too.. all of this just  for a start.

With the measure you measure it will be measured back to you.. for (Gal 6:7 KJV)  Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

This  verse still applies for all of  her false divorce supporters too.. I know of many many many selfish, unrepentant Friends, neighbours, mothers who wrecked marriages.. lives.. and did not stop doing it too. they all also still needs to really  repent,  get right with God, the wife and  the husband too..

God sees what people will be like at the end after they go through much more hell on earth.. and then may admit how bad they are and the world is.. we sadly  really still cannot stop any of the  persons suffering really hard next too no matter how much we do  care for, really do love them, just like the prodigal son they too may  have to mostly learn the hard way take the long way home too..

(Ezek 14:19  KJV)   Or if I send a pestilence into that land, and pour out my fury upon it in blood, to cut off from it man and beast: 20  Though Noah, Daniel, and Job, were in it, as I live, saith the Lord GOD, they shall deliver neither son nor daughter; they shall but deliver their own souls by their righteousness. ... 23  And they shall comfort you, when ye see their ways and their doings: and ye shall know that I have not done without cause all that I have done in it, saith the Lord GOD.
(Gen 35:2 KJV)  Then Jacob said unto his household, and to all that were with him, Put away the strange gods that are among you, and be clean, and change your garments:
 
(Deu 17:12 KJV)  And the man that will do presumptuously, and will not hearken unto the priest that standeth to minister there before the LORD thy God, or unto the judge, even that man shall die: and thou shalt put away the evil from Israel.
 
(Deu 19:13 KJV)  Thine eye shall not pity him, but thou shalt put away the guilt of innocent blood from Israel, that it may go well with thee.
 
(Josh 24:14 KJV)  Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the LORD.
 
(Josh 24:23 KJV)  Now therefore put away, said he, the strange gods which are among you, and incline your heart unto the LORD God of Israel.
 
(Judg 10:16 KJV)  And they put away the strange gods from among them, and served the LORD: 
 
(1 Sam 7:3 KJV)  And Samuel spake unto all the house of Israel, saying, If ye do return unto the LORD with all your hearts, then put away the strange gods and Ashtaroth from among you, and prepare your hearts unto the LORD, and serve him only: and he will deliver you out of the hand of the Philistines.
 
(1 Sam 7:4 KJV)  Then the children of Israel did put away Baalim and Ashtaroth, and served the LORD only.
 
(1 Sam 28:3 KJV)  Now Samuel was dead, and all Israel had lamented him, and buried him in Ramah, even in his own city. And Saul had put away those that had familiar spirits, and the wizards, out of the land.
 
(2 Sam 7:15 KJV)  But my mercy shall not depart away from him, as I took it from Saul, whom I put away before thee.
 
(2 Sam 12:13 KJV)  And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die.
 
(2 Ki 3:2 KJV)  And he wrought evil in the sight of the LORD; but not like his father, and like his mother: for he put away the image of Baal that his father had made.
 
(2 Ki 23:24 KJV)  Moreover the workers with familiar spirits, and the wizards, and the images, and the idols, and all the abominations that were spied in the land of Judah and in Jerusalem, did Josiah put away, that he might perform the words of the law which were written in the book that Hilkiah the priest found in the house of the LORD.
 
(2 Chr 15:8 KJV)  And when Asa heard these words, and the prophecy of Oded the prophet, he took courage, and put away the abominable idols out of all the land of Judah and Benjamin, and out of the cities which he had taken from mount Ephraim, and renewed the altar of the LORD, that was before the porch of the LORD.
 
(Est 8:3 KJV)  And Esther spake yet again before the king, and fell down at his feet, and besought him with tears to put away the mischief of Haman the Agagite, and his device that he had devised against the Jews.
 
(Job 22:23 KJV)  If thou return to the Almighty, thou shalt be built up, thou shalt put away iniquity far from thy tabernacles.
 
(Psa 18:22 KJV)  For all his judgments were before me, and I did not put away his statutes from me.
 
(Prov 4:24 KJV)  Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.
 
(Ezek 43:9 KJV)  Now let them put away their whoredom, and the carcases of their kings, far from me, and I will dwell in the midst of them for ever.
 
(1 Cor 13:11 KJV)  When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
 
(Eph 4:31 KJV)  Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
 
(1 Tim 1:19 KJV)  Holding faith, and a good conscience; which some having put away concerning faith have made shipwreck:
 
(Heb 9:26 KJV)  For then must he often have suffered since the foundation of the world: but now once in the end of the world hath he appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself.
 
Now how about putting away the strange God of divorce rightfully away as well..
 
"In the US they  have killed by abortion  more than the entire population of Canada. And it continues.." But many years ago God told me firsthand that Christians hypocritically will speak out against gays, abortions, drunks, pornography.. why hypocritically? for they rarely speak out against divorce which cripples many persons for life.. at least 70 percent of marriages will wrongfully end up in divorce..  God did not command divorce, as he hates divorce just as much as he hates any other sin, making today's practice of divorce for even mere incompatibility also still unacceptable to God.
 
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 Jn.4:7-8)
 
" Divorce is a public act of putting away a spouse through a written certificate of divorce in the presence of the elders. The Greek word that is translated "divorce" is "apoluo" which means "to send/put away". In those instances that it is interpreted as "divorce" it is due to the context in which it is used. For instance, the word is used in the sending away of the Canaanite woman when the disciples said,  "Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us." (Mt.15:23 NIV). Even though this would have been a public act it wasn't in the context of a husband and wife, hence it was translated as "Send her away". Another use of this word is found when we read:  "And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man, and not wanting to disgrace her, desired to put her away secretly. " (Mt.1:19 NASB) Even though this is a putting away of someone who is betrothed, it should not be interpreted as divorce. Since the marriage was not consummated, it could be done privately as Joseph was going to do- divorce is public. However we can interpret it as "divorce" when we read,  "And it was said, 'Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce." (Mt5:31 NASB) For even though there is no mention of public awareness, but is accompanied by a certificate of divorce it is correctly translated as divorce. Therefore the Bible does not use a specific word for divorce for it merely means "to send or put away"; the context dictates the translation."
 
Love also is more than an emotion, love is a commitment that goes beyond how anyone feels. In this way we are not commanded to feel love toward someone, we are commanded to have a personal, deliberate  attitude of of obedince, of manifesting  love toward firstly God,  parents, our brothers and sisters, our spouse, and our children as well, other believers.. It is a command and not an optional emotion,
 
"The Pharisees asked, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?' 'Haven't you read', Jesus replied, that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.' 'Why then,' they asked, 'did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?' Jesus replied, 'Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard." (Mt.19:3-8 NIV) Moses did not command divorce but permitted it as was already being practiced due to the hardness of the peoples' hearts- an unwillingness to yield to God's plan that they remain together for life. The law itself , God's laws did not permit divorce, not even for adultery in the Old Testament , it required stoning to death for adultery.. and no New Testament law even permits divorce now too, and separation or divorce does not give anyone a right still to remarry now as well!!!

(Deu 22:22 KJV)  If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel.
 
(Deu 22:24 KJV)  Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.
 
A common social  practice in Israel was that ""If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That still would be detestable in the eyes of the Lord." (Dt.24:1-4 NIV) It is important to notice that this law does not institute divorce or place God's seal of approval on divorce, but rather it starts: "if a man". The woman who was divorced and remarried was considered defiled by God, implying that the divorce did not free her to enter a second marriage covenant. The law was adamant that divorce did not free the person to remarry:" Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." (1 Co.6:16)
 
(Lev 21:7 KJV)  They shall not take a wife that is a whore, or profane; neither shall they take a woman put away from her husband: for he is holy unto his God.(Jer 3:1 KJV)  They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD.
 
(Jer 4:1 KJV)  If thou wilt return, O Israel, saith the LORD, return unto me: and if thou wilt put away thine abominations out of my sight, then shalt thou not remove.
 
(Ezek 44:22 KJV)  Neither shall they take for their wives a widow, nor her that is put away: but they shall take maidens of the seed of the house of Israel, or a widow that had a priest before.
 
(Hosea 2:2 KJV)  Plead with your mother, plead: for she is not my wife, neither am I her husband: let her therefore put away her whoredoms out of her sight, and her adulteries from between her breasts;
 
(Mat 5:31 KJV)  It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
 
(Mat 5:32 KJV)  But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
 
There is no possibility of divorce for two married Christian spouses under any circumstances and those who practice it are immoral persons..

For the very  smart people.. I want you to note that in the Bible, Old and New Testament, only a man could have tried to divorce his wife.. divorce was never mandatory as well..   and a women can never file for divorce.. Jewish or Christian.. and there is no provision for divorce if both male/female couple are professing Christians too. There is no provision for any gay relationship or marriage. That is God, Christ's  law, and man always still  has his own sinful ways for which he will pay a price too for following after it.

"Leadership Landmines It happens all the time. Successful leaders--people with great business acumen, great teams and great vision--are moving along, growing their companies when, all of a sudden, they fall flat on their faces.  Their businesses start hemorrhaging money. Their best people start jumping ship. Their families start falling apart. And they sit at their desks with their heads in their hands wondering, "How did this happen? "I'll tell you how it happened. They were blown up by a problem they never saw coming.- Dr. John C. Maxwell "
 
(Nahum 1:3 KJV)  The LORD is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the LORD hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet.
 
(Prov 29:18 KJV)  Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.
 
Here is some more irony, the last verse is one of the most misquoted verses too that I have come across.. the people who quote it leave out the part "but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." any proper pastoral vision must include him or her observing still God's laws.. all of them now too. That includes God's laws on divorce.. there is no divorce for two married Christian believers under any circumstances.. under any circumstances.. God said so.
 
The Church can't be claiming to fulfill the great commission of bringing people to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ and yet allowing divorce, or abusing, even  persecuting their own members for a start.. I find it very tragic, pathetic, comical the church speaks out against abortions, gays, but not against divorce... or church splits...  and yet God hates divorce, and God punishes those who abuse others. It is not enough to preach some truth to others one has also to personally to live it. Pastors and leaders included.
 
(Mal 2:16 KJV)  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

GOD HATES DIVORCE AND EVEN ANY OF THE  PASTORS WHO COUNSEL DIVORCE THEY WILL ALSO NEXT WILL REAP NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES, A GARMENT OF VIOLENCE AS WELL...

(Gal 6:7 KJV)  Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8  For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life  everlasting.

 (Mat 18:5 KJV)  And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. 6  But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. 7  Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh! 8  Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire. 9  And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire. 10  Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.
 
The Church itself too often and clearly does not practice this too
 
(Mat 18:11 KJV)  For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost. 12  How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray? 13  And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray. 14  Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.
 
or this..
 
(Mat 18:15 KJV)  Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16  But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17  And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican. 18  Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19  Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. 20  For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
 
In fact the above verses are so often misquoted and are not mentioned that the direct context is still to disciplining a wayward brother or sister in Christ,
(John 13:35 KJV)  By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
God respects your own free will and he expects you also to exercise it properly still!
(Luke 17:32 KJV)  Remember Lot's wife.33 Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.
 
(Phil 3:19 KJV)  Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.)
 
(1 Sam 15:22 KJV)  And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.
 
(2 Sam 6:6 KJV)  And when they came to Nachon's threshingfloor, Uzzah put forth his hand to the ark of God, and took hold of it; for the oxen shook it. 7  And the anger of the LORD was kindled against Uzzah; and God smote him there for his error; and there he died by the ark of God.
 
(1 Sam 3:13 KJV)  For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.(Ezek 7:3 KJV)  Now is the end come upon thee, and I will send mine anger upon thee, and will judge thee according to thy ways, and will recompense upon thee all thine abominations. (Jude 1:15 KJV)  To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are ungodly among them of all their ungodly deeds which they have ungodly committed, and of all their hard speeches which ungodly sinners have spoken against him. (Ezek 16:38 KJV)  And I will judge thee, as women that break wedlock and shed blood are judged; and I will give thee blood in fury and jealousy.(Ezek 21:30 KJV)  Shall I cause it to return into his sheath? I will judge thee in the place where thou wast created, in the land of thy nativity.(Ezek 34:20 KJV)  Therefore thus saith the Lord GOD unto them; Behold, I, even I, will judge between the fat cattle and between the lean cattle. (Acts 17:31 KJV)  Because he hath appointed a day, in the which he will judge the world in righteousness by that man whom he hath ordained; whereof he hath given assurance unto all men, in that he hath raised him from the dead. (Heb 13:4 KJV)  Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.  (2 Pet 2:3 KJV)  And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not.(Phil 1:9 KJV)  And this I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and in all judgment;  (1 Pet 4:17 KJV)  For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God? (2 Pet 2:9 KJV)  The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished:  (John 5:14 KJV)   Behold, thou art made whole: sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee.
Too many people too readily accept professing Christians persons now as being real Christians. Many people still do fail to realize beforehand that the person that now they are even selecting on their own possibly for their mate may have unresolved personal issues, major sins that will next have serious an adverse effect not only on their marriage, relationship but even on others as well. We need God's wisdom to know what some people are now really like still too.
 
The major preoccupation of too many persons today of the making of money in our society today  is too often justified as an essential personal need, even too often now a false governmental priority, and  even at all costs, too often wrongfully allowing even the commitment of  personal immoralities in the process as well. There is still  a difference still between meeting one's essential needs by working, as opposed to one immorally stealing it, or lying to get it too,  and also next going overboard to aquire wealth mainly fulfill one's lusts too.  
 
Furtheremore Man is composed body, soul and sprit, and having a spouse, a person who only meets one's body needs is clearly not  enough, nor in fact is it enough next to have friendship only at the soulish level as well. Man has a spiritual vacuum that he seeks to be filled as well. Marriage is one way some people try to fill in the void they feel. Earthly Marriage it itself is never an adequate solution for all of your needs firstly  as well. We all need to daily be mindful of this truth now too. The truths mentioned here are important for us all, always too.

Not only do we have false religious teachers today but note this we also have false wives, wives  or husbands) who have a false concept of what marriage really is, to the false wife the marriage is a slavery, an act of the husband's total, false submission to fulfill all the needs, expectation of the wife... which eventually ends up in a divorce as a direct result too.
 
False preachers even today still often tell the people that God will bless them even though they have clearly rejected personally following after God and his way.Their false leaders do not tell them the real reason they are still suffering, cause they have sinfully, self centrally, wrongfully reject Jesus Christ, the God and His way, his will for them.. God's judgments similar falls of the false, professing Christians who have rejected God and his way.  Not only do we have false religious teachers today but note this we also have false wives, wives ( or husbands) who have a false concept of what marriage really is, to the false wife the marriage is a slavery, an act of the husband's total, false submission to fulfill all the needs, expectation of the wife... which eventually ends up in a divorce as a direct result too.

Three reasons for many failed marriages include- personal laziness, unrealistic marital goals and expectations, secular priorities.. and note this the real  garbage that people do personally still bring with them into their marriage.. their own poor values too.
 
I have no doubt in my mind that like too many others I am too liberal, too soft on the  personal sins that are being committed by many persons but God he still is not!
 
This passage below deals with the case of a woman who was accused of breaking her marriage vows by reason of extra-marital sexual activities, that is to say, of a married woman accused of sexual unfaithfulness.
(Num 5:12 KJV)  Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, If any man's wife go aside, and commit a trespass against him, 13  And a man lie with her carnally, and it be hid from the eyes of her husband, and be kept close, and she be defiled, and there be no witness against her, neither she be taken with the manner; 14  And the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be defiled: or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be not defiled: 15  Then shall the man bring his wife unto the priest, and he shall bring her offering for her, the tenth part of an ephah of barley meal; he shall pour no oil upon it, nor put frankincense thereon; for it is an offering of jealousy, an offering of memorial, bringing iniquity to remembrance. 16  And the priest shall bring her near, and set her before the LORD: 17  And the priest shall take holy water in an earthen vessel; and of the dust that is in the floor of the tabernacle the priest shall take, and put it into the water: 18  And the priest shall set the woman before the LORD, and uncover the woman's head, and put the offering of memorial in her hands, which is the jealousy offering: and the priest shall have in his hand the bitter water that causeth the curse:19  And the priest shall charge her by an oath, and say unto the woman, If no man have lain with thee, and if thou hast not gone aside to uncleanness with another instead of thy husband, be thou free from this bitter water that causeth the curse: 20  But if thou hast gone aside to another instead of thy husband, and if thou be defiled, and some man have lain with thee beside thine husband: 21  Then the priest shall charge the woman with an oath of cursing, and the priest shall say unto the woman, The LORD make thee a curse and an oath among thy people, when the LORD doth make thy thigh to rot, and thy belly to swell; 22  And this water that causeth the curse shall go into thy bowels, to make thy belly to swell, and thy thigh to rot: And the woman shall say, Amen, amen.
(Num 5:23 KJV)    And the priest shall write these curses in a book, and he shall blot them out with the bitter water: 24  And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water that causeth the curse: and the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter. 25  Then the priest shall take the jealousy offering out of the woman's hand, and shall wave the offering before the LORD, and offer it upon the altar: 26  And the priest shall take an handful of the offering, even the memorial thereof, and burn it upon the altar, and afterward shall cause the woman to drink the water. 27  And when he hath made her to drink the water, then it shall come to pass, that, if she be defiled, and have done trespass against her husband, that the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter, and her belly shall swell, and her thigh shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people. 28  And if the woman be not defiled, but be clean; then she shall be free, and shall conceive seed. 29  This is the law of jealousies, when a wife goeth aside to another instead of her husband, and is defiled; 30  Or when the spirit of jealousy cometh upon him, and he be jealous over his wife, and shall set the woman before the LORD, and the priest shall execute upon her all this law. 31  Then shall the man be guiltless from iniquity, and this woman shall bear her iniquity.
Today too many people take sexual infidelity as a joke, much too lightly.. God himself also acting in a role of a  the husband does not!!! God himself does enforce the punishement for this sin now as well....
 
(Prov 2:16 KJV)  To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words; 17  Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God.18  For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead. 19  None that go unto her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life. 20   That thou mayest walk in the way of good men, and keep the paths of the righteous.
 
(Psa 106:13 KJV)  They soon forgat his works; they waited not for his counsel:14   But lusted exceedingly in the wilderness, and tempted God in the desert.
 
(1 Cor 10:6 KJV)  Now these things were our examples, to the intent we should not lust after evil things, as they also lusted. 7  Neither be ye idolaters, as were some of them; as it is written, The people sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play. 8  Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand. 9  Neither let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted, and were destroyed of serpents. 10  Neither murmur ye, as some of them also murmured, and were destroyed of the destroyer. 11  Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come. 12  Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.
 
(Rev 18:4 KJV)  And I heard another voice from heaven, saying, Come out of her, my people, that ye be not partakers of her sins, and that ye receive not of her plagues. 5  For her sins have reached unto heaven, and God hath remembered her iniquities. 6  Reward her even as she rewarded you, and double unto her double according to her works: in the cup which she hath filled fill to her double. 7  How much she hath glorified herself, and lived deliciously, so much torment and sorrow give her: for she saith in her heart, I sit a queen, and am no widow, and shall see no sorrow. 8  Therefore shall her plagues come in one day, death, and mourning, and famine; and she shall be utterly burned with fire: for strong is the Lord God who judgeth her. 9  And the kings of the earth, who have committed fornication and lived deliciously with her, shall bewail her, and lament for her, when they shall see the smoke of her burning, 10  Standing afar off for the fear of her torment, saying, Alas, alas that great city Babylon, that mighty city! for in one hour is thy judgment come. 11  And the merchants of the earth shall weep and mourn over her; for no man buyeth their merchandise any more: 12  The merchandise of gold, and silver, and precious stones, and of pearls, and fine linen, and purple, and silk, and scarlet, and all thyine wood, and all manner vessels of ivory, and all manner vessels of most precious wood, and of brass, and iron, and marble, 13  And cinnamon, and odours, and ointments, and frankincense, and wine, and oil, and fine flour, and wheat, and beasts, and sheep, and horses, and chariots, and slaves, and souls of men. 14  And the fruits that thy soul lusted after are departed from thee, and all things which were dainty and goodly are departed from thee, and thou shalt find them no more at all. 15  The merchants of these things, which were made rich by her, shall stand afar off for the fear of her torment, weeping and wailing, 16  And saying, Alas, alas, that great city, that was clothed in fine linen, and purple, and scarlet, and decked with gold, and precious stones, and pearls! 17  For in one hour so great riches is come to nought. And every shipmaster, and all the company in ships, and sailors, and as many as trade by sea, stood afar off, 18  And cried when they saw the smoke of her burning, saying, What city is like unto this great city! 19  And they cast dust on their heads, and cried, weeping and wailing, saying, Alas, alas, that great city, wherein were made rich all that had ships in the sea by reason of her costliness! for in one hour is she made desolate.  20  Rejoice over her, thou heaven, and ye holy apostles and prophets; for God hath avenged you on her. 21  And a mighty angel took up a stone like a great millstone, and cast it into the sea, saying, Thus with violence shall that great city Babylon be thrown down, and shall be found no more at all. 22  And the voice of harpers, and musicians, and of pipers, and trumpeters, shall be heard no more at all in thee; and no craftsman, of whatsoever craft he be, shall be found any more in thee; and the sound of a millstone shall be heard no more at all in thee; 23  And the light of a candle shall shine no more at all in thee; and the voice of the bridegroom and of the bride shall be heard no more at all in thee: for thy merchants were the great men of the earth; for by thy sorceries were all nations deceived. 24   And in her was found the blood of prophets, and of saints, and of all that were slain upon the earth.
One unrepentant sin generally leads to many others too.. One also cannot live separated from Jesus as Lord,  and then expect any kind of personal blessing, prosperity, happiness, it never cannot happen at all too. It is all God's way or  no way! We all cannot neglect the essential element of of our personal faith, of each one of us trusting in God to provide for us what we need still too. Not rather trusting in our spouse,, family, government.
"I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
 
"If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered: and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned. If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. Herein is my Father glorified that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples. As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love.
 
"If ye keep my commandments ye shall abide in my love: even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you." John 15:1-14.
"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light we have fellowship one with another," -- and this we have brought out so many times -- You see, beloved, the only way you can tell that a person really has fellowship with the Father and his Son is through a positive fellowship and a relationship with others. Our abiding with God , for the most part, still involves also maintain  an earthly loving relationship with others,our spouses included. Abiding  is something that we realy do not and merely give lip service too.
 
"and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin." That's part of the same statement which says "if we walk in the light, as he is in the light we have fellowship one with another." That is part of the same declaration of truth. But if we do not walk in the light as he is in the light, what about the blood then? Would there be cleansing? No, there would not be. There would be defilement. This cleansing is a continuing thing. And this abiding is a necessary thing if we maintain cleansing.
 
One the saddest thing in the world is an unhappy, lost, no longer Christian prodigal, a dog that has returned to it;'s vomit, one that is not enjoying the loving fellowship of one's spouse, or of  the Christian brethren, and certainly not rejoicing in prayer and  over the word of God.
(Rev 3:19 KJV)  As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
 
(Rev 3:20 KJV)  Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
 
(Rev 3:21 KJV)  To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.
To overcome, means to overcome these personal sins mentioned above, even the sins of tolerating, allowing divorces wrongfully too, sins of abusing others..
(Mat 3:7 KJV)  But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees come to his baptism, he said unto them, O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come? 8  Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance: 9  And think not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to our father: for I say unto you, that God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham. 10  And now also the ax is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 11  I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance: but he that cometh after me is mightier than I, whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost, and with fire: 12  Whose fan is in his hand, and he will thoroughly purge his floor, and gather his wheat into the garner; but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.
More than one,  visibly wicked, immoral pastors have told me that we are not allowed to speak out against, about the sins of bad evangelical  pastors.. well it is very obvious that the prophets, and Jesus himself disagreed, they called them as well to repentance. All it takes for evil to prosper is for good people to do nothing about it still. God will do his part but we have to do our part, which includes asking them to repent as well now.
(Mat 12:33 KJV)  Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit.
 
(Mat 23:29 KJV)  Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because ye build the tombs of the prophets, and garnish the sepulchres of the righteous, 
 
(Mat 25:14 KJV)  For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. 15  And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. 16  Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents. 17  And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two. 18  But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money.  19  After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. 20  And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more. 21  His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. 22  He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them. 23  His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. 24  Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strowed: 25  And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. 26  His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strowed: 27  Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. 28  Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents. 29  For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. 30  And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
 
(1 Tim 5:20 KJV)  Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear. 21 I charge thee before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and the elect angels, that thou observe these things without preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality.
 
(Titus 3:1 KJV)  Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work, 2  To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, showing all meekness unto all men.
 
(James 3:12 KJV)  Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh. 13  Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him show out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.
 
(Mat 5:13 KJV)  Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
 
(Mark 9:50 KJV)  Salt is good: but if the salt have lost his saltness, wherewith will ye season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace one with another.
 
(Mat 5:16 KJV)  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
 
(1 Tim 5:21 KJV)  I charge thee before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and the elect angels, that thou observe these things without preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality.
 
(Acts 17:30 KJV)  And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent: 31  Because he hath appointed a day, in the which he will judge the world in righteousness by that man whom he hath ordained; whereof he hath given assurance unto all men, in that he hath raised him from the dead.
 
(Acts 3:19 KJV)  Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord; 20  And he shall send Jesus Christ, which before was preached unto you:
 
(1 Cor 5:13 KJV)  But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.
 
(Isa 1:16 KJV)  Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil;
(Mat 21:28 KJV)  But what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard. 29  He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went. 30  And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir: and went not. 31  Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you.
 A house divided against itself cannot stand (Mark 3:25)  applies to  the Churches, and our homes, and our marriages too.
 
Freely send this page to anyone, for we all need to read and apply it.
 
 Please see also  
My marriage failed..     http://my.homewithgod.com/jtrendy/failed.htm 
or  Is divorce an option?  http://my.homewithgod.com/jtrendy/divorce.htm