Is a marriage for life?
 
(Mat 5:31 KJV)  It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32   But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
 
Here below are truths that Good preachers used to tell us, but we often listen to them when it was too late.. we need to know them still. Dealing with Help in seeking a mate and the need of good marriage counseling are one of the most common needs of many persons and the right answers are all part of the needed counselling skill of a good pastor too.
 
There is no way to get around this verse and yet over 50 percent of persons are wrongfully getting divorced these day for  most of the marriages even in Churches today are wrongfully a prostituting one, they are based on conditional,  performance based, contractual marriages and not rather being a God based, unconditional acceptance, eternal marriage. Thus even lawyers, judges  look for any reasons to break up marriages. Not surprising even pastors are mostly hirelings prostitutes for hire, persons who counsel, preach for money mostly and not freely, out of love. God himself will thus impose the final negative consequences on each of them as well.
 
"My Godly line in the sand has been drawn! I openly, publicly, rightfully  do make a clear stand for the traditional family concept only, and I oppose, expose  all of its enemies who wish to divorce marriages or to  legalize same-sex marriage and other diverse "family" forms. So should we all. Marriage  consists  only of the union between a man and a woman and no law can even require, seek  that marital status or the legal incidents thereof be conferred upon unmarried couples or groups.
 
(Psa 127:1 KJV)  Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
 
(Heb 13:4 KJV)  Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whore mongers and adulterers God will judge.
 
(Matthew 19:4 KJV)  And he (Jesus) answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 4  And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 6  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
 
Most Canadian  marriages do breakup because of the spouses also reaping what they had  sowed,  including unrestrained sexual lusts, personal laziness and unrealistic expectations in life.. but  note this reality also that outside persons also do  wrongfully help to break up  many marriages.. marriages do break up  even due to the too many immoral Pastors, Ministers who do counsel wrongfully divorce, or they wrongfully do fail to help the hurting, afflicted  parties, of which there are still many.. and finally marriages do break up  even due also  to bad governmental Ministers, policies that wrongfully  encourage divorce, marital break ups too.
 
Wounded marriages can me made whole but many out of jealousy, spite, cause they are evil work to break them up instead.
 
Here are some related issues  we all do also need to know related to Marriage Counselling..
 
One cannot separate the physical and the spiritual, they are intertwined, and follow the laws of reaping and sowing as well
 
Marital Counseling - firstly you cannot help a person who refuses the help, to deal with the  truths, who wrongfully does not want the help..
 
Beloved, a revelation of  God and his Words will do more to stabilize lives and save troubled marriages than all of the ungodly psychiatrists and marriage counselors in the world. Here is the reality these ungodly psychiatrists and marriage counselors will make things worse and not better with their humanistic endeavors, and likely end up counseling divorce. There is also still absolutely no way to help people who will not listen or receive counsel. God, himself, cannot help people who will not be reasoned with.
 
 (Isa 1:18 KJV)  Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. 19   If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land: 20  But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it.31   How is the faithful city become an harlot! it was full of judgment; righteousness lodged in it; but now murderers.
 
(Prov 13:1 KJV)  A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.
 
(Prov 14:1 KJV)  Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
 
(Prov 14:2 KJV)  He that walketh in his uprightness feareth the LORD: but he that is perverse in his ways despiseth him.
 
Firstly How to be a good lover...
 
LOVE
 
1:   The word ďloveĒ in English has so many different definitions supposedly including
Romance
Eros
Storge
Philia
Self-love
Desire
Agape
Narcissism
Sex
Gay

 The word ďloveĒ in English has so many various definitions as we all tend to know , for instance: I love my dog, my wife, cherry pie, my children, my sister, myself etc. 
But in the Greek there are three basic, main words for love.  Eros, Philia, Agape
 
Eros
 
One Greek word for love is ďErosĒ, from which we get the word erotic.  It has self-centered interests with its main focus being on physically receiving.  'Eros', means physical, sensual, romantic  affections and can be described as desires or erotic love. Many people wrongfully confuse this as being a love from God.. and they sadly do not tend to know any other levels of love.. such as  Philia  or next even Agape..
 
Eros is the false type of love that is most emphasized  in our society today- a sensual mostly love that is based on receiving- a passionate love depicted on TV and novels, or manifested by Gays.  One person once commented: ďMy friends do not fall in love; they mostly fall into lust.Ē 
 
A lot, lot of persons also today do LIVE BY THEIR FEELINGS, not by the word of God, they are mostly  led by and live by their own demonic lusts, the Eros love.. that is what a lot of these feelings still are.. even the feelings of high, excitements, desires.. they are not living in God's love or on His will for them.. This is not just the gays now, the adulterers, pornographers, but even most of ordinary supposedly good persons too who do this now, next too.
 
(John 8:44 KJV)  Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
 
(2 Pet 2:10 KJV)  But chiefly them that walk after the flesh in the lust of uncleanness,
 
(1 John 2:16 KJV)  For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
 
(1 John 2:17 KJV)  And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.
 
(1 Th 4:5 KJV)  Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:
 
(1 Cor 6:9 KJV)  Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 10  Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor  extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 11  And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. 12  All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.
 
We need to walk by faith, walking in faith means always applying God's word personally.. then we will walk in the love and in the Spirit of God.. not in the lust of the flesh.
 
(Gal 5:16 KJV)  This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
In the  New Testament Greek there are only two  main words for love.    Philia  Agape
 
The New Testament is void of the word ďErosĒ;  it is only found in the New Testament classical Greek.
 
Phileo
 
Another Greek word for love is ďphileoĒ; it represents mutual  tender affection- the sharing, warm fuzzies.   It's love now  focus on both giving and receiving.
 
 The word 'Philia means affection (as in Philadelphia which means brotherly affection or brotherly love (delphos = brother)).  
 
 Phileo is an emotional, brotherly  love, a  love which would best be illustrated in the Bible as that between David and Jonathan. 
 
The relationship between Lazarus and Jesus depicts this type of love as well:
 
John.11:3  So the sisters sent word to Jesus, "Lord, the one you love is sick."
 
Again when Jesus sees Mary crying, we read:
 
John.11:35-36  Jesus wept.  Then the Jews said, "See how he loved him!"
 
Then there was also the close disciple whom Jesus loved:
 
John.20:2  So she came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, "They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we donít know where they have put him
 
It is on the basis of Phileo that we are commanded to a brotherly kiss out of fraternal affection
 
Romans  16:16   Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the churches of Christ send greetings However when Judas greets Jesus to betray him, the Greek word is not the word for kiss, but the word phileo- the word for love:
 
Mk.14:44  Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: "The one I kiss (phileo) is the man; arrest him and lead him away under guard."
 
It is important that the command to love is never phileo, because it is an emotional love that comes out of a mutual reciprocal relationship but rather Agape
 
However, it must be pointed out that for a Christian to phileo love someone definitely also always includes the agape love as well. 
 
God the Father Agape loved his Son:
 
John.3:35  The Father loves the Son and has placed everything in his hands.But God also phileo loved Jesus because of their relationship:
 
John.5:20  For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does. Yes, to your amazement he will show him even greater things than these.
 
God agape loves his church
 
John.14:21  He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him."
 
But God also loves us because of the relationship we have with his Son:
 
John.16:27  No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.The relational phileo love for Christ is in the context of relationship, else the Bible says we will be cursed.
 
1  Corinthians.16:22  If anyone does not love the Lordó a curse be on him. Come, O Lord!
 
However if we are in a relationship with the God, he will rebuke and discipline us as the need arises:
 
Re.3:19  Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent.
 
Therefore phileo love comes from a relationship which shares common interests- both giving and receiving.
 
Agape
 
Finally there is the Greek word for love: ďagapeĒ which represents an attitude of love that is non selfish. It has a self-less interest with its focus on primary giving to others.  Agape can be described as unconditional positive regard, a personal state of mind that spurs us into helpful, needful action in personal simplicity, humility, compassion and equanimity. Agape is the higher form, manifestation  of God's true love for all of us  which we all still do need to personally have, promote, cultivate by letting God have full control of our lives.
 
The Greek word agape is mostly  foreign to classical Greek because itís origin is from God: 
 
1 John.4:7        Öfor love comes from God.
 
The first disciples of Jesus Christ were incapable of agape love until after Pentecost, for agape love comes from the Holy Spirit alone:
 
Romans.5:5  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
 
The fact that the disciples were void of agape love prior to Pentecost  becomes clear in John 21 where Jesus uses the word agape:
 
John.21:15  When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."
 
Peterís response was ďI phileo love you.Ē  Did Peter not understand the question?  Jesus repeats himself:
 
John.21:16  Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."
 
Again Jesus uses the word ďagapeĒ, yet Peter again responds with phileo, love based on a relationship.  Jesus in his third attempt asks, ďPeter do you phileo love me?Ē
 
John.21:17  The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.
 
Peter could not experience agape love in and of himself, its origin is of God:
 
1 John 4:8  Öfor God is love.
 
Agape is an outward manifestation of an inward change
 
1 Corinthians 16:14  Do everything in love.
 
Agape love is a love that is based on the one doing the loving and not on the one receiving the love being lovely or worthy of that love:
 
Romans 5:8  But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
 
The love of God could not be understood by man until Christ died on the cross:
 
1 John.3:16  This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
 
Agape love is the highest love as it is selfless, this differentiates it from all human forms of love:
 
John.15:13  Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.
 
Agape love is not based on feelings, therefore it can be commanded:
 
John.15:12  "This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
 
Agape love is not based on relationship, we are now called to love more then our neighbor, our enemy:
 
Luke.6:27-28   But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
 
There is much confusion these days on what love is.  Phileo always tries to please the one that is being loved.  Agape always does what is best on behalf of the person even though it might not be perceived as love at that time:
 
Romans.8:28  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
 
Is everything good that God allows in our life, ďnoĒ; but because of his love for us, it will be for our good. 
 
He.12 :5-6    "My son, do not make light of the Lordís discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,  because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
 
In the same way, if we agape love someone, we might have to tell them how God perceives their actions.  Some people say the things others want to hear, instead we need to say those things they need to hear:
 
Eph 4:15   Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ
 
Therefore let us enjoy the phileo love we have for each other as we do life together, but let us also love with the same love that God has always willing to reach out to those who do not know the love of God. There are many kinds of love, but the greatest of these is agape love.
 
 (James 1:17 KJV)  Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
 
and when we love one another with agape love, we do love God also. 
 
2 Dealing with temptation

The real problem of temptation even when married is that it does not tend to go away, it comes back but God will help us to deal with it..

(2 Tim 1:7 KJV)  For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 
 
(1 Cor 14:8 KJV)  For if the trumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle? 9 So likewise ye, except ye utter by the tongue words easy to be understood, how shall it be known what is spoken? for ye shall speak into the air.
 
Let me be clear too I firstly rightfully do prefer to define any of  the problems but also to mention God's input, help directly on the subjects now as well.. especially if I want to help anyone and to see any real positive changes in their life next too.
 
The real problem of temptation is it not only  affects persons all ages, young and old, and the temptations in general will always be with us as long as we are in the flesh, but  even the supposed most spiritual people are the most likely to face the most severe temptations again, for unless we personally do learn to deal with it effectively  it will be even next worse. So let us list, face with insights our most common simple or complex temptations even, and really now find out why they do bother us now so much, continually  too.
 
(1 Cor 10:13 KJV)  There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
 
And now what is the way out? It is also not a wrong sign of weakness, a personal failure to continually ask God for help, wisdom, understanding in dealing even with a particular situation, temptation, it is a sign of our rightful spiritual maturity, the right approach. Temptations can cause more spiritual growth in us and in others when we do learn how to deal with them next too..
 
 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.6  But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. 7  For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. 8  A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. (James 1:5 KJV)
 
If you find yourself being tempted It firstly certainly implies that you are now also seeing some of the moral issues clearly, correctly. No matter  still the very same temptation you face it has come upon a million others persons long before we were born.  And still next almost every sin will be prefaced by these   words-"My situation is an exception." and this successful approach has been the psychology of Satan for six thousand years. Your situation is very  normal.. now try to face all of  it, all of  the circumstances that have lead to your major temptations now too.
James 1:2-4. "My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing."
 
Temptation still does provides opportunity for OUR OWN PERSONAL spiritual conquest and growth. 
 
Apostle  Paul said that we are being drawn in two directions every time we are tempted. At the crossroads where the two ways meet at the same time we are tempted to anger, we are also being tempted to self-control. When we are tempted to be dishonest, we are also tempted to be  honest.
 
The battle area of most temptations still tends to be first in our own mind. Are we even too ambitious for our own good? See simply  first what Jesus offers, a home in Heaven, down here on earth my sins forgiven, and that is enough for me, not what Satan rather has to offer.
 
(Psa 35:1 KJV)  A Psalm of David. Plead my cause, O LORD, with them that strive with me: fight against them that fight against me. 2  Take hold of shield and buckler, and stand up for mine help. 3  Draw out also the spear, and stop the way against them that persecute me: say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. 4  Let them be confounded and put to shame that seek after my soul: let them be turned back and brought to confusion that devise my hurt. 5  Let them be as chaff before the wind: and let the angel of the LORD chase them. 6  Let their way be dark and slippery: and let the angel of the LORD persecute them. 7  For without cause have they hid for me their net in a pit, which without cause they have digged for my soul. 8  Let destruction come upon him at unawares; and let his net that he hath hid catch himself: into that very destruction let him fall. 9  And my soul shall be joyful in the LORD: it shall rejoice in his salvation. 10  All my bones shall say, LORD, who is like unto thee, which deliverest the poor from him that is too strong for him, yea, the poor and the needy from him that spoileth him? 11  False witnesses did rise up; they laid to my charge things that I knew not. 12  They rewarded me evil for good to the spoiling of my soul. 13  But as for me, when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth: I humbled my soul with fasting; and my prayer returned into mine own bosom. 14  I behaved myself as though he had been my friend or brother: I bowed down heavily, as one that mourneth for his mother. 15  But in mine adversity they rejoiced, and gathered themselves together: yea, the abjects gathered themselves together against me, and I knew it not; they did tear me, and ceased not: 16  With hypocritical mockers in feasts, they gnashed upon me with their teeth. 17  Lord, how long wilt thou look on? rescue my soul from their destructions, my darling from the lions. 18  I will give thee thanks in the great congregation: I will praise thee among much people. 19  Let not them that are mine enemies wrongfully rejoice over me: neither let them wink with the eye that hate me without a cause. 20  For they speak not peace: but they devise deceitful matters against them that are quiet in the land. 21  Yea, they opened their mouth wide against me, and said, Aha, aha, our eye hath seen it. 22  This thou hast seen, O LORD: keep not silence: O LORD, be not far from me. 23  Stir up thyself, and awake to my judgment, even unto my cause, my God and my Lord. 24  Judge me, O LORD my God, according to thy righteousness; and let them not rejoice over me. 25  Let them not say in their hearts, Ah, so would we have it: let them not say, We have   swallowed him up. 26  Let them be ashamed and brought to confusion together that rejoice at mine hurt: let them be clothed with shame and dishonour that magnify themselves against me. 27  Let them shout for joy, and be glad, that favour my righteous cause: yea, let them say continually, Let the LORD be magnified, which hath pleasure in the prosperity of his servant. 28  And my tongue shall speak of thy righteousness and of thy praise all the day long.
 
Admit readily too that you need help and humbly too.
 
Don't rather say, pray that  (Isa 14:14 KJV)  I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.
 
for  (Isa 14:15 KJV)  Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.
 
"Jesus still has said, "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness." Mark 7:21, 22. Almost every category of evil is included in this long list of sins which come forth from the heart. Paul described lust as "fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind." Ephesians 2:3. The Greek text more accurately says "desires of the thoughts." So do you want to be tempted less, than do also watch what you see and think too.  James describes it this way. "But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death." James 1:14, 15."
 
One of our first best protection against temptation now is to set a personal guard in our own mind by personally, readily  testing  every one of  entering thoughts and rejecting all, any  thoughts that are not from God,  and even next now pointing them out as lies.. by comparing them to God's own words. Reality.
 
 (2 Cor 10:5 KJV)  Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
 
Our Prayer and the prayers of others are another effective resources that deals with temptation. Prayers of  "Lead us not into temptation"  
 
 The Bible also says, "The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations." 2 Peter 2:9. Again, God promises, "Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation." Revelation 3:10.
 
Watch out always for the flesh..   When we seek any gratification outside the will of God, our will  has turned into lust. The temptation to lust is present, but this itself is not sin. Giving in to it is sin.  Acquiring something that is not in God's will leads  us to steal it thus too,  for the right way is always possible for us still.
 
And God generally does not work miracles to deliver those who do not use their own God-given power, will  to avoid evil.
 
"And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast if from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell." Matthew 5:29, 30
 
If we  find ourselves in any physical situation which opens a door to temptation, the wise counsel is to "cut it off" , do ASAP get away from any activity this enticement liable to lead into sin.  Even an bad employment,  position, a bad marriage  should be abandoned rather than risk the spiritual loss of eternal life.  If it can't be totally controlled, don't take the chance! Pluck it out!
 
 
 "PLuck it out" conveys the idea of our own personal  if necessary. Would Jesus ask us to deny ourselves some good thing just because a small amount of mind pollution might be involved? Yes.
 
"If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me." Luke 9:23.
 
(Mat 10:35 KJV)  For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.36   And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. 37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38   And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. 39  He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
 
(1 Cor 7:1 KJV)  Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2  Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. 3  Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 6  But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. 7  For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8  I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. 9  But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. 10  And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: 11  But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. 12  But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13  And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15  But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16  For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? 17  But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches. 18  Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised. 19  Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God. 20  Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.

(Prov 15:16 KJV)  Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure and trouble therewith. 17  Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.18   Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues without right. 19  Better it is to be of an humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud.  (Prov 17:1 KJV)  Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife.
 
 
(Eccl 4:6 KJV)  Better is an handful with quietness, than both the hands full with travail and vexation of spirit.
 
(Prov 19:1 KJV)  Better is the poor that walketh in his integrity, than he that is perverse in his lips, and is a fool. 
 
(Prov 28:6 KJV)  Better is the poor that walketh in his uprightness, than he that is perverse in his ways, though he be rich.
 
Paying a personal price to weed out temptation, and  NOT TO sin is still wrongfully not very popular even today. But personally saying No more to desirable, fleshly things is still a basic essential requirement of a Christian's Lordship discipleship of all those things present temptations which are likely to lead us into more sin.
 
(1 Cor 6:19 KJV)  What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? 20  For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
 
(Gal 3:29 KJV)  And if ye be Christ's, then are ye Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.
 
It is not enough to cast out now on our own the  evil  thoughts or evil persons too now but we all also next do need more understanding, wisdom,  and this wisdom, understanding comes from God and regularly dwelling in his Words
 
Even with a spiritual mind, the mind of Christ there are still places, things, even people  to be avoided too have our needed victory. There are also still the devotional requirements to be wholly in harmony with Christ. The avenues of the mind must be always guarded and properly fed if we would defeat sin in its inception.
 
(Mat 12:43 KJV)  When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none. 44  Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished. 45  Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.
 
(Phil 4:8 KJV)  Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.9  Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.
 
Positive thoughts and positive actions, both are OFTEN still required..
 
"Let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall." 1 Corinthians 10:12.
 
 Remember Lot's wife. (Luke 17:32 KJV)
 
Have you noticed how some of the most unlikely individuals still do  fall prey to the most unlikely sins? Do we become careless on the point of our supposed strength? It appears so.  Elijah's great strength was courage. He withstood single-handily all the entrenched forces of Baal on Mt. Carmel. With incredible boldness he challenged anyone who deviated from a path of full obedience to God. Yet, immediately after his successful contest with the prophets of Baal, he fled like a coward from the threats of Queen Jezebel. It was so out of character for the fearless Tishbite! Did he drop his guard in the area of his fabled strength? Abraham was distinguished by his total trust in God. He is called the father of the faithful. Yet he lied to the King of Egypt out of fear that his wife would be taken from him. These great Bible characters not demonstrate dramatically how Satan attacks the place in our lives where there is a lack of alertness? No one should think he is immune to Satan's attacks because of some demonstrable virtues.  Not even King David now too, he next fell..  It is also very interesting to note that no one really anticipates the result of yielding to temptation, since it usually approaches along the line of least resistance. Gehazi saw the flashing colors of the Syrian garments-not the leprous scars which would follow him to the grave.  Judas could not see past the glittering silver coins to his fearful remorse and suicide.
 
Many temptations will cease to trouble us as we make the good choice a habit or also if we wrongfully give into Io them and the temptation will wrongfully no longer bother us NOW as well, "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21. 
 
(2 Tim 2:15 KJV)  Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.
 
(2 Tim 2:16 KJV)  But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.
 
 
 
3: THE NUMBER ONE COMPLAINT THAT I HAVE HEARD THE LAST 35 YEARS HAS BEEN ABOUT " MY BAD MARRIAGE" AND  IT EXCELS COMPLAINTS ABOUT GOVERNMENTS, JOB, MONEY, DISCRIMINATION TOO.
 
MORE TRUTHS YOU WILL HAVE WISHED THAT YOU HAD LISTEN TO WHEN YOUR MOTHER, FATHER , PASTOR HAD SHARED THEM TOO NEXT!!!
 
I have personally found that too many of the  available written material dealing with marital problems and the Bible tend to follow the author's personal agenda's and really are not written in basic understanding, love, compassion. As a result I have tried to be more inclusive to all of the issues even realted to marital temptations too.
 
(John 13:34 KJV)  A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 35   By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
 
(Rom 12:9 KJV)  Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good. 10  Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
 
(Rom 13:8 KJV)  Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.
 
(1 Cor 13:1 KJV)  Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
 
(Rom 13:9 KJV)  For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.10  Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.
 
(1 John 1:9 KJV)  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:10 KJV) If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
 
I was prayerfuly medidating, dealing with the reality of God's punishment, which includes divorce, divorce is not one of God's inital blessing for all who expereince it in reality tend to know firsthand too..
 
 
The reality of  THE EXISTENCE marital problems..
 
To falsely deny that marriage problems should and that they do not happen is an unrealistic  approach to life.. one of the most saddest aspects of marriage is that a marriage license itself, or a marriage in a church does not include, guarantee personally any preparation, success of the of marriage. It was also still takes equal participation, work by both parties to insure the marriage next does not crumble too. It takes two to make a marriage work. One can overcome the marital problems or one can falsely use them as an excuse to break up the marriage as well.
 
(Prov 26:2 KJV)  As the bird by wandering, as the swallow by flying, so the curse causeless shall not come. (Jer 3:20 KJV)  Surely as a wife treacherously departeth from her husband, so have ye dealt treacherously with me, O house of Israel, saith the LORD. (Jer 8:5 KJV)  Why then is this people of Jerusalem slidden back by a perpetual backsliding? they hold fast deceit, they refuse to return. (Psa 119:9 KJV)   Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? by taking heed thereto according to thy word. .(2 Cor 6:17 KJV)  Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.  (Heb 10:38 KJV) " Now the just shall live by faith: but if any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. "
The marital basics, issues..
 
Most anyone who has taken a University course in the validity of "contract law" should know that both parties have to always keep their agreements, neither parties can change any of the agreement on their own too, and they do have to do and keep their part, and if one party refuses to do so they now  have wrongfully broken the contract and can be rightfully penalized for doing so. If one spouse is too lazy or too immoral to keep their part, and/or has lied in making the contract the marriage contract will fail next, be invalid thus.   What I would like to do here is give a view that I have prayed much on and feel is the true intent of Gods word to us. Some of the issues mentioned here in compassion are not an excuse to separate or divorce but rather a real look at real life. I think God is more gracious and understanding then we sometimes like to give him credit for. I think that in our zeal to be obedient we sometimes misrepresent the mind of God. Marriage and what God intended is often decided based on the way that many leaders in the church interrupt the Bible to their own liking still and not always with peace being in mind. The union between man and woman is most important and is liked always to the union between man and God, and more so his church and Christ.
 
Be Aware.. Many people still do listen to the bad advice of others, one the devil's favorite approach still  is to send a person, a neighbor, friend, stranger, relative, to us pretending to be a friend, helper, feeding us lies trying to cause us to sin, to do wrong... and we do too often listen to them wrongfully too. Wounded marriages facing divorce can be made whole but very unlikely if you do go to most counselors today, even in the church who wrongfully take the false, the supposedly more easy approach and simply, wrongfully  recommend divorce.
 
Face it.  Man is composed body, soul and sprit, and having a spouse, a person who only meets one's body needs is clearly not  enough, nor in fact is it enough next to have friendship only at the soulish level as well. Man has a spiritual vacuum that he seeks to be filled as well. Marriage is one way some people try to fill in the void they feel. Earthly Marriage it itself is never an adequate solution for all of your needs firstly  as well. We all need to daily be mindful of this truth now too. .The truths mentioned here are important for us all, always too
 
Firstly now too all men and women need to be firstly careful and deliberate in choosing someone beforehand for a lifetime partner,  for real Incompatibility problems do next become very quickly manifested after the honeymoon is over.   The Marriages made by fraud, deceit, lies, misrepresentations will next fail as a result too and not even the  sex can  hold this marriage  together. The sharing and mutual enjoyment of sex now also is the resulting reward of a good a marriage but that alone, sex  will not keep a couple together. Sex is not Love itself firstly too.  Children, religion, hobbies, friends, good works  and many other common needs, interests all add to a happy marriage.
Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. 21 Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.(Mat 7:20 KJV)   But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves..(James 1:22 KJV)
 
(Ezek 33:31 KJV)  And they come unto thee as the people cometh, and they sit before thee as my people, and they hear thy words, but they will not do them: for with their mouth they show much love, but their heart goeth after their covetousness.
 
(Mat 15:8 KJV)  This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. 9  But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.
 
(Jer 8:5 KJV)  Why then is this people of Jerusalem slidden back by a perpetual backsliding? they hold fast deceit, they refuse to return.
 
(Jer 9:6 KJV)  Thine habitation is in the midst of deceit; through deceit they refuse to know me, saith the LORD.
 
(Jer 9:8 KJV)  Their tongue is as an arrow shot out; it speaketh deceit: one speaketh peaceably to his neighbour with his mouth, but in heart he layeth his wait.
 
(Mark 7:6 KJV)  He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. 7  Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men. 8   For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups: and many other such like things ye do.
 
(Mat 10:17 KJV)  But beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues;
 
Too many people too readily accept even the professing Christians persons now as being real Christians when in reality they are not. 
 
Many persons still do fail to realize beforehand that the person that now they are even selecting on their own possibly for their mate may have unresolved personal issues, sins that will next have serious an adverse effect not only on their marriage, relationship but even on others as well.
 
We need God's wisdom to know what some people are now really like still too. It is not enough to accept the word of even a professing Christian, as to them even now being real, born again Christians too,
(Luke 17:32 KJV)  Remember Lot's wife. 33   Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.
 
(Psa 32:10 KJV)  Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the LORD, mercy shall compass him about.
 
(2 Pet 2:4 KJV)  For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved unto judgment;5  And spared not the old world, but saved Noah the eighth person, a preacher of righteousness, bringing in the flood upon the world of the ungodly; 6  And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, making them an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly; 7  And delivered just Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked: 8  (For that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed his righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful deeds;) 9  The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished:
 
Major, major concern.. Still if anyone was to browse the prayer requests  posted on the Internet one can quickly see that prayers for a mate take a large part of the center stage as well as THEIR concern of having a good, well paid  job, and one's health. Anyone involved in counseling knows that marriage complaints take the center stage there as well. Why? Many  People have used the wrong advice, approach in finding a mate still too.
 
One way we personally do manifest God's glory is how we do firstly seek a Christian mate, a mate that God has chosen for us, and next by also how we do treat them
 
Gal 6:14 KJV)  But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world.
 
 ďlet your light shine . . . in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heavenĒ(Mt. 5:16).
 
(1 Cor 10:31 KJV)  Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
 
(1 Cor 10:32 KJV)  Give none offence, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God:
 
(1 Cor 10:33 KJV)  Even as I please all men in all things, not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved.   "Glory to God in the highest heaven"(Luke. 2:14)
 
(1 Cor 11:1 KJV)  Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ.
 
for ďIt is He who has made us, and not we ourselvesĒ(Ps. 100:3). It is God alone who ďgives to all life and breath and all thingsĒ(Acts 17:25). ďEveryone who is called by My name, whom I have created for My gloryĒ(Isa. 43:7).
 
(Isa 42:8 KJV)  I am the LORD: that is my name: and my glory will I not give to another, neither my praise to graven images.  "You shall have no other gods before Me"(Ex. 20:3).
 
(John 17:1 KJV)  These words spake Jesus, and lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son, that thy Son also may glorify thee: 2  As thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him. 3  And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. 4  I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do. 5  And now, O Father, glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory which I had with thee before the world was. 6  I have manifested thy name unto the men which thou gavest me out of the world: thine they were, and thou gavest them me; and they have kept thy word. 7  Now they have known that all things whatsoever thou hast given me are of thee. 8  For I have given unto them the words which thou gavest me; and they have received them, and have known surely that I came out from thee, and they have believed that thou didst send me. 9  I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them which thou hast given me; for they are thine. 10  And all mine are thine, and thine are mine; and I am glorified in them. 11  And now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee. Holy Father, keep through thine own name those whom thou hast given me, that they may be one, as we are. 12  While I was with them in the world, I kept them in thy name: those that thou gavest me I have kept, and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition; that the scripture might be fulfilled. 13  And now come I to thee; and these things I speak in the world, that they might have my joy fulfilled in themselves. 14  I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. 15  I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil. 16  They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world. 17  Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth. 18  As thou hast sent me into the world, even so have I also sent them into the world. 19  And for their sakes I sanctify myself, that they also might be sanctified through the truth. 20  Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; 21  That they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. 22  And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them; that they may be one, even as we are one: 23  I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me. 24  Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am; that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me: for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world. 25  O righteous Father, the world hath not known thee: but I have known thee, and these have known that thou hast sent me. 26  And I have declared unto them thy name, and will declare it: that the love wherewith thou hast loved me may be in them, and I in them.
 
(2 Cor 11:3 KJV)  But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtlety, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.
 
(2 Cor 11:4 KJV)  For if he that cometh preacheth another Jesus, whom we have not preached, or if ye receive another spirit, which ye have not received, or another gospel, which ye have not accepted, ye might well bear with him.
 
  (Gen 2:18 KJV)  And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
 
(Eccl 4:9 KJV)  Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.10  For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.11  Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 12  And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
 
One cannot but help but notice today that the world says everything is right to do , including sexual impurities.. of gays, lesbians, adultery, fornication, sex outside of marriage. pornography/
 
(Heb 13:4 KJV)  Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whore mongers and adulterers God will judge.
 
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 2  But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. 3  And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. 4  The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. 5  Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. 6  For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.  (Psalm1:1 KJV)
 
The most common  mistake
 
 The most common  mistake most people make is they put too much emphasis on their marriage, home life to make them personally happy, they use the marriage as a false idol, a false replacements for a relationship with God.. Nothing, nothing in life, not money,, not sex, not marriage, fame can replace our need daily ongoing relationship with and for God.

Psalm 23 1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2  He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3  He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5  Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
 
In real earthly life there are at least two major errors most people daily make..

They personally follow after false values, false leaders.. they follow after their own sinful desires, mere corrupted human logic, reasoning and not God... this is associated with the sin of presumption
 
(Prov 14:12 KJV)  There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
 
(Prov 14:14 KJV)  The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways: and a good man shall be satisfied from himself.
 
(Prov 14:15 KJV)  The simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going.
 
(Prov 14:16 KJV)  A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident.
and

2 They take a good value and go to the E X T R E M E with it, they go overboard with it... the sin of excess.

Now every hear someone say you should personally speak in tongues all the time for example?

when actually any spiritual gift of God, the Holy Spirit still has to be used only when God tells you to use it.. it is always subject to God, his will, his timing, his place.. even Moses died cause he disobeyed God and used his gift more times than God had told him too.
 
(Num 20:11 KJV)  And Moses lifted up his hand, and with his rod he smote the rock twice: and the water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their beasts also.12  And the LORD spake unto Moses and Aaron, Because ye believed me not, to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore ye shall not bring this congregation into the land which I have given them.
 
 (Deu 34:5 KJV)  So Moses the servant of the LORD died there in the land of Moab, according to the word of the LORD.

Note this extreme act will negatively consume people.. and their physical and spiritual being too.. it will be rather a destroying fire in their life and not a gentle blessing
 
A great preacher died at the age of 28 because God had told me while he respected, honored God's spiritual laws, he neglected God's physical laws, such as looking after his own good health too.

(Psa 50:21 KJV) These things hast thou done, and I kept silence; thou thoughtest that I was altogether such an one as thyself: but I will reprove thee, and set them in order before thine eyes.

(Psa 50:22 KJV) Now consider this, ye that forget God, lest I tear you in pieces, and there be none to deliver.

(Prov 30:6 KJV) Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

(Jer 2:19 KJV) Thine own wickedness shall correct thee, and thy back slidings shall reprove thee: know therefore and see that it is an evil thing and bitter, that thou hast forsaken the LORD thy God, and that my fear is not in thee, saith the Lord GOD of hosts. 20 For of old time I have broken thy yoke, and burst thy bands; and thou saidst, I will not transgress; when upon every high hill and under every green tree thou wanderest, playing the harlot.

Yes God says

(Zep 1:2 KJV) I will utterly consume all things from off the land, saith the LORD.

(Zep 1:3 KJV) I will consume man and beast; I will consume the fowls of the heaven, and the fishes of the sea, and the stumbling blocks with the wicked; and I will cut off man from off the land, saith the LORD.

(Zec 5:4 KJV) I will bring it forth, saith the LORD of hosts, and it shall enter into the house of the thief, and into the house of him that sweareth falsely by my name: and it shall remain in the midst of his house, and shall consume it with the timber thereof and the stones thereof.
 
For GOD IS STILL ALSO JUST AND HOLY
 
(Deu 9:3 KJV)  Understand therefore this day, that the LORD thy God is he which goeth over before thee; as a consuming fire he shall destroy them, and he shall bring them down before thy face: so shalt thou drive them out, and destroy them quickly, as the LORD hath said unto thee.
 
(Heb 12:28 KJV)  Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear:  29   For our God is a consuming fire.
 
(Deu 4:24 KJV)  For the LORD thy God is a consuming fire, even a jealous God.
 
and  sadly too many even professing Christians even married ones have still even now made their the acquisition, pursuit of money, the false love for all of the things that money can buy, as their false idol, and one of their false goal in life, and as a result they now personally do not really have love for God, love for his people or love for others... and this is still really unacceptable to God. Do you really think there is such a thing as a little bit pregnant, a little bit sin being allowed now  ? when you see even their sins of abuses of others you clearly are still just seeing the tip of the iceberg. It is an indication of idols in their own life that they are unwilling to give up.   Why is it that so many persons who preach it to others do not practice it firstly themselves? Personal repentance included? So why is it they cannot change themselves? They are evidently are unwilling to do so. .   they still do have mostly man centered religion and not rather God centered, it still tends to exalts man, self, pride..not rather solely Jesus Christ ....
 
(2 Tim 3:1 KJV) This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.2 For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 Without natural affection, truce breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, 4 Traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; 5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
 
and not rather (1 Cor 2:2 KJV) For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.
 
Furthermore it is undeniably clear that too many pastors, elders  are even  wrongfully pursing secular wealth, the owning of bigger and better homes, working at insuring adequate pensions moneys for themselves while neglecting to minister to the physical, spiritual needs of God's people.
 
Did you know that Marriage counseling is the main and biggest ministry  today, it is the big need in churches today and yet still most pastor do even wrongfully refuse to do it, they rather even too many of them do wrongfully counsel divorce..
 
1 Tim 6:10 KJV) For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows
Mat 24:12 KJV) And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold

(1 John 2:15 KJV) Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him

(1 John 3:17 KJV) But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him

(1 John 3:16 KJV) Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren
 
Matthew 6:24 NKJV:"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon."

Matthew 6:31 NKJV Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'

Matthew 6:32 NKJV  For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

Matthew 6:33 NKJV But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Matthew 6:34 NKJV  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
(Eccl 9:3 KJV) This is an evil among all things that are done under the sun, that there is one event unto all: yea, also the heart of the sons of men is full of evil, and madness is in their heart while they live, and after that they go to the dead.

(Isa 29:13 KJV) Wherefore the Lord said, For as much as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men:

(Jer 5:24 KJV) Neither say they in their heart, Let us now fear the LORD our God, that giveth rain, both the former and the latter, in his season: he reserveth unto us the appointed weeks of the harvest.

(Jer 13:10 KJV) This evil people, which refuse to hear my words, which walk in the imagination of their heart, and walk after other gods, to serve them, and to worship them, shall even be as this girdle, which is good for nothing.
 
(Ezek 14:3 KJV) Son of man, these men have set up their idols in their heart, and put the stumbling block of their iniquity before their face: should I be inquired of at all by them?
The Old Testament book of Malachi was written to specifically to Pastors stealing God's money.. and going along with divorce wrongfully too. 
 
We are to give of ourselves personally daily to God... and then all we have is his to use as he wills.. furthermore the Book of acts says we are in the local church to also firstly give to the poor Christians, and not only to the pastors, building funds, missionaries.. and how many churches now actually do this these days give to the poor.. it is the government who does it rather.. it supplies the social aid.
 
Three of my biggest shocks in encountering, dealing with many evangelical Christians, pastors in Canada are...
  1. that most still are hirelings, concerned about money, and will lie, steal to get it as well.
  2.  they do not provide domestic, marital counseling excuse they are sex maniacs themselves, most of them thus also wrongfully like to leave the option of martial divorce open, that in case even their own wife does not meet their sexual needs they can divorce her and get another, and that is why they readily counsel divorce for other persons
  3.  they personally rarely do read, apply the bible, in their own homes, or even in their counseling..
Here  are more of the too common sins that Christian leaders, persons   even today
1:  They have forsaken God's ways, teachings, values, commandments
2:  They are pursing their own chosen idols
3:  They are proud of what they have done, accomplished and fail to admit God's sovereignty, contribution in all of it.
4:  They in their false pride they even abuse other Christians
and they will not get away with it still unpunished by God even..
(1 Sam 15:22 KJV)  And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.
 
(Jer 2:8 KJV)  The priests said not, Where is the LORD? and they that handle the law knew me not: the pastors also transgressed against me, and the prophets prophesied by Baal, and walked after things that do not profit.
 
(Jer 2:11 KJV)  Hath a nation changed their gods, which are yet no gods? but my people have changed their glory for that which doth not profit.
 
(Jer 2:12 KJV)  Be astonished, O ye heavens, at this, and be horribly afraid, be ye very desolate, saith the LORD.
 
(Jer 2:13 KJV)  For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water.
 
(Jer 2:18 KJV)  And now what hast thou to do in the way of Egypt, to drink the waters of Sihor? or what hast thou to do in the way of Assyria, to drink the waters of the river?
 
(Jer 2:19 KJV)  Thine own wickedness shall correct thee, and thy back slidings shall reprove thee: know therefore and see that it is an evil thing and bitter, that thou hast forsaken the LORD thy God, and that my fear is not in thee, saith the Lord GOD of hosts.
 
(Mal 2:8 KJV)  But ye are departed out of the way; ye have caused many to stumble at the law; ye have corrupted the covenant of Levi, saith the LORD of hosts.
 
(Jer 18:15 KJV)  Because my people hath forgotten me, they have burned incense to vanity, and they have caused them to stumble in their ways from the ancient paths, to walk in paths, in a way not cast up;
 
(Jer 2:31 KJV)  O generation, see ye the word of the LORD. Have I been a wilderness unto Israel? a land of darkness? wherefore say my people, We are lords; we will come no more unto thee?
 
(Jer 2:35 KJV)  Yet thou sayest, Because I am innocent, surely his anger shall turn from me. Behold, I will plead with thee, because thou sayest, I have not sinned
 
(Gal 6:7 KJV)  Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
 
(Luke 16:10 KJV)  He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.
 
I have often wondered how can I expect the Canadian the politicians, and were are reading world wide the corruption, the sponsorship scandals of the past, present Liberal governments, to be decent, good moral persons when the pastors themselves wrongfully too often still do lead such a poor personal example in Canada
Never the less (Psa 1:6 KJV)  For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.
 
Over the last many years there are two MORE things that ready astound me still

1: Firstly it is really always amazing still to me as to how many the still mostly self centered Christian and non Christians persons wrongfully still do wrongfully believe that they will not reap here on earth personally any negative consequences for their own unrepentant sins here on earth, and what God still punishes people personally for their OWN wrong doing here on earth? of course!

Note this also that the length of our personal life on earth is related to how we personally do treat our parents, children, others as well as our own righteous works too..

(Some people are sick as a direct result of punishment of God where as others are sick cause they are afflicted by the devil because they are doing God's work

2: The second thing that really astounds me IS that people are so quick to judge others but not FIRSTLY not themselves.
 
and...
 
THE COMMON ISSUES OF FIGHTING ABOUT THE MONEY TOO
 
(Luke 16:9 KJV)  And I say unto you, Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness; that, when ye fail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations. 10  He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much. 11  If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches? 12  And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which is your own? 13  No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. 14  And the Pharisees also, who were covetous, heard all these things: and they derided him. 15  And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God. 16  The law and the prophets were until John: since that time the kingdom of God is preached, and every man presseth into it. 17  And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail. 18  Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
 
I personally was really flabbergasted to firsthand observe that the topic of giving, tithing, money was often followed by the topic of adultery, divorce and not just in the book of Malachi but in the above verses..  what people divorce over  money too?? not just sex?
 
  The pastor George Mueller 1805-1898 used to feed thousands of poor people, orphans freely by faith and he never once asked anyone for a cent. His life characterized by prayer and faith . he committed himself to a full-time gospel ministry. When Mueller was twenty-five, he went to Teignmouth, England, with his new wife, Mary, to pastor a small church. He gave up the small salary offered when he discovered it was paid through the rental of church pews. From that time on he resolved to live by faith. Mueller moved in 1832 to Bristol, England, to be the pastor of another church. There his famous work with the orphans began when two young children were thrown upon the church's care. Mueller had only two shillings to his name when he began the orphanage work, but over the next sixty years God sent more than $7,500,000 to supply their needs. New buildings were built or purchased, staff was hired, and the hundreds of children never missed a meal. Many times prayers were said over empty plates only to have food arrive at the last moment. Mueller resolved never to tell anyone what his needs were. He told them to God and confidently expected them to be met. During his life, Mueller started 117 schools which educated over 120,000 young people and orphans. He became pastor of Bethesda Chapel in Bristol. The church had some 2,000 members at his death. Spurgeon said, "Of flowers of speech he has none, and we hardly think he cares for them; but of the bread of Heaven he has abundance." Near the end of his life he affirmed that he had read the Bible through approximately 200 times, 100 of which was on his knees. He found God's promises in the Bible and experienced the truth of them in his everyday life. He learned to believe what he read and to act accordingly. He learned to tell not man but God his needs and to believe God would supply them. Mueller had mastered the lesson of outlooks--for he lived by the heavenly uplook, and not the earthly outlook!  "The Lord pours in, while we seek to pour out." This was always his plan of operation. He sought God to pour in the supplies, and he diligently furnished sources through which they might be distributed. As long as Mueller saw to the careful distribution of money and supplies, God never failed in pouring in the needed materials.   and some people try to say he George was an exception.. but no everyone needs to live by faith in God to provide daily too.  http://www.swordofthelord.com/biographies/mueller.htm
http://www.wholesomewords.org/biography/biorpmueller.html
 
(Luke 16:9 KJV)  And I say unto you, Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness; that, when ye fail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations. 10  He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much. 11  If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches? 12  And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which is your own? 13  No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. 14  And the Pharisees also, who were covetous, heard all these things: and they derided him. 15  And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God. 16  The law and the prophets were until John: since that time the kingdom of God is preached, and every man presseth into it. 17  And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail. 18  Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
 
Matt.23:23 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint, and anise, and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgement, mercy, and faith: these ye ought to have done, and not to leave the other undone.

One of Jesus own first act was negative.. chasing the hirelings, money lenders out of the temple.. the apostles dealt with the issue of donations now too..   Jesus and the Apostles too cared how the money was exchanged in the church.. it was an indication of one's values.

(Acts 5:9 KJV) Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out.

In the book of Acts the death of Ananias, is negative, one of the Apostle own negative act was to deal with monetary falsehoods in the church.

(Acts 5:3 KJV) But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land?4 Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God. 5 And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost: and great fear came on all them that heard these things. 6 And the young men arose, wound him up, and carried him out, and buried him.

 
(Malachi 2:1 KJV And now, O ye priests, this commandment is for you. 2  If ye will not hear, and if ye will not lay it to heart, to give glory unto my name, saith the LORD of hosts, I will even send a curse upon you, and I will curse your blessings: yea, I have cursed them already, because ye do not lay it to heart. 3  Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it. 4  And ye shall know that I have sent this commandment unto you, that my covenant might be with Levi, saith the LORD of hosts. 5  My covenant was with him of life and peace; and I gave them to him for the fear wherewith he feared me, and was afraid before my name. 6  The law of truth was in his mouth, and iniquity was not found in his lips: he walked with me in peace and equity, and did turn many away from iniquity. 7  For the priest's lips should keep knowledge, and they should seek the law at his mouth: for he is the messenger of the LORD of hosts. But ye are departed out of the way; ye have caused many to stumble at the law; ye have corrupted the covenant of Levi, saith the LORD of hosts. 9  Therefore have I also made you contemptible and base before all the people, according as ye have not kept my ways, but have been partial in the law. 10  Have we not all one father? hath not one God created us? why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother, by profaning the covenant of our fathers? 11  Judah hath dealt treacherously, and an abomination is committed in Israel and in Jerusalem; for Judah hath profaned the holiness of the LORD which he loved, and hath married the daughter of a strange god. 12  The LORD will cut off the man that doeth this, the master and the scholar, out of the tabernacles of Jacob, and him that offereth an offering unto the LORD of hosts. 13  And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand. 14  Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. 15  And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. 16  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away( Divorce) : for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. 
 
(Mal 2:17 KJV)  Ye have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, Every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delighteth in them; or, Where is the God of judgment?
 
(Jer 9:1 KJV)  Oh that my head were waters, and mine eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep day and night for the slain of the daughter of my people!  2  Oh that I had in the wilderness a lodging place of wayfaring men; that I might leave my people, and go from them! for they be all adulterers, an assembly of treacherous men. 3  And they bend their tongues like their bow for lies: but they are not valiant for the truth upon the earth; for they proceed from evil to evil, and they know not me, saith the LORD. 4  Take ye heed every one of his neighbour, and trust ye not in any brother: for every brother will utterly supplant, and every neighbour will walk with slanders. 5  And they will deceive every one his neighbour, and will not speak the truth: they have taught their tongue to speak lies, and weary themselves to commit iniquity. 6  Thine habitation is in the midst of deceit; through deceit they refuse to know me, saith the LORD. 7  Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts, Behold, I will melt them, and try them; for how shall I do for the daughter of my people? Their tongue is as an arrow shot out; it speaketh deceit: one speaketh peaceably to his neighbour with his mouth, but in heart he layeth his wait. 9  Shall I not visit them for these things? saith the LORD: shall not my soul be avenged on such a nation as this?
 
(Luke 16:2 KJV)  And he called him, and said unto him, How is it that I hear this of thee? give an account of thy stewardship; for thou mayest be no longer steward.

(Luke 16:9 KJV)  And I say unto you, Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness; that, when ye fail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations.

(Luke 16:10 KJV)  He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.

(Luke 16:11 KJV)  If therefore ye have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches?

(Luke 16:12 KJV)  And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man's, who shall give you that which is your own?

(Luke 16:13 KJV)  No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

(Luke 16:14 KJV)  And the Pharisees also, who were covetous, heard all these things: and they derided him.

(Luke 16:15 KJV)  And he said unto them, Ye are they which justify yourselves before men; but God knoweth your hearts: for that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God.

(Luke 16:16 KJV)  The law and the prophets were until John: since that time the kingdom of God is preached, and every man presseth into it.

(Luke 16:17 KJV)  And it is easier for heaven and earth to pass, than one tittle of the law to fail.

(Luke 16:18 KJV)  Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

and what now has the giving of money to do with divorce?
 
(Exo 20:17 KJV) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.
 
and is this why churches and pastors too many times allow divorce wrongfully  .. they too are covetous..

(1 Cor 13:3 KJV) And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
 (Hag 1:5 KJV)  Now therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts; Consider your ways.
 
(Hag 1:6 KJV)  Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not enough; ye drink, but ye are not filled with drink; ye clothe you, but there is none warm; and he that earneth wages earneth wages to put it into a bag with holes.
 
(Hag 1:7 KJV)  Thus saith the LORD of hosts; Consider your ways.
 
(Jer 9:23 KJV)  Thus saith the LORD, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: 24  But let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the LORD which exercise  loving kindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the LORD.
 
(1 Tim 5:20 KJV) Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.

(Rev 3:19 KJV) As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
 
(1 John 1:9 KJV)  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
 
(1 John 1:10 KJV)  If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
 
(Luke 3:8 KJV)  Bring forth therefore fruits worthy of repentance, and begin not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to our father: for I say unto you, That God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham.9 And now also the ax is laid unto the root of the trees: every tree therefore which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
 
 
A sexual permissiveness society
 
The world and it's followers as usual wrongfully  moves towards  a sexual permissiveness society not classified as infidelity or unfaithfulness and one rather too often without guilt or conscience, thus sex among single people is no longer considered wrong by much of today's generation.
 
Likewise many married couples take the same attitude toward extra-marital affairs and as usual Christians will still be wrongfully led to follow them.. rather than the world to follow the Christians? why? what else is new? the problem existed in both the Old and New Testament times too.. and the answer for it is in the same Bible too.
 
We on earth are always tempted to walk in a sinful manner, daily by Satan and others, and yet God says for us to walk pure, holy, even one towards another and sexually as well.... Both old testament and new testament references included the sexual behavior. God commands holy living and aids us to be holy as well.
 
(1 Cor 7:39 KJV)  The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
 
(Lev 20:7 KJV)  Sanctify yourselves therefore, and be ye holy: for I am the LORD your God. 8  And ye shall keep my statutes, and do them: I am the LORD which sanctify you. 9  For every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him. 10  And the man that committeth adultery with another man's wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour's wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. 11  And the man that lieth with his father's wife hath uncovered his father's nakedness: both of them shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. 12  And if a man lie with his daughter in law, both of them shall surely be put to death: they have wrought confusion; their blood shall be upon them. 13  If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. 14  And if a man take a wife and her mother, it is wickedness: they shall be burnt with fire, both he and they; that there be no wickedness among you. 15  And if a man lie with a beast, he shall surely be put to death: and ye shall slay the beast. 16  And if a woman approach unto any beast, and lie down thereto, thou shalt kill the woman, and the beast: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them. 17  And if a man shall take his sister, his father's daughter, or his mother's daughter, and see her nakedness, and she see his nakedness; it is a wicked thing; and they shall be cut off in the sight of their people: he hath uncovered his sister's nakedness; he shall bear his iniquity. 18  And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness; he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people. 19  And thou shalt not uncover the nakedness of thy mother's sister, nor of thy father's sister: for he uncovereth his near kin: they shall bear their iniquity. 20  And if a man shall lie with his uncle's wife, he hath uncovered his uncle's nakedness: they shall bear their sin; they shall die childless. 21  And if a man shall take his brother's wife, it is an unclean thing: he hath uncovered his brother's nakedness; they shall be childless. 22  Ye shall therefore keep all my statutes, and all my judgments, and do them: that the land, whither I bring you to dwell therein, spue you not out. 23  And ye shall not walk in the manners of the nation, which I cast out before you: for they committed all these things, and therefore I abhorred them.
 
(1 Pet 1:15 KJV)  But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;
 
(1 Pet 1:16 KJV)  Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.
 
Do not be too quick to judge others, your spouse firstly too. Let God judge them. Or you will be really humbled personally next yourself by temptations even.. God alone sees the truth is still a real  judge of human affairs. People who fall into sin are generally not doing anything good in the first place. If you find yourselves with the more temptations being faced often ask yourself what are you not doing that rather should be done instead now too. Being unrepentant, lazy, sleeping too much will also cause you to fall into more sin too. 
 
There also is no provision for divorce of any Christians couples for  God hates divorce and he defines divorce as a sin of adultery too.
 
(Mal 2:16 KJV)  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
 
 Ephesians 5:22-33óWives be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; that He might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of his own body. for this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and his church. Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.
 
(Gal 6:7 KJV)  Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
 
(Gal 6:8 KJV)  For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
 
(Gal 6:9 KJV)  And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
 
(Gal 6:10 KJV)  As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

 
PROPER COUNSELING
 
"  Sunday, Dec 12, 2004    Husband charged in Ont. school murder remanded to custody  BRAMPTON, Ont. (CP) -   62-year-old  Erhun Candir  Saturday   charged with first-degree murder  in the shooting death of his wife of nearly two decades at a local high school.  Candir, charged with first-degree murder, was remanded in custody until Monday.  Aysegul Candir, who had taught English as a second language at Bramalea Secondary School for two years, was shot in the head in the school parking lot Friday and died in hospital hours later.    The shooting prompted a school-wide lock down and sent students diving under their desks for cover where they remained for several hours before being allowed out.  The 47-year-old woman was a teacher in her native Turkey from 1980 to 1986 before immigrating to Canada. She taught at numerous schools throughout the Toronto area before beginning at Bramalea.   The brazen school-hour attack shook the community and has left investigators and experts asking why a marriage that had lasted that long would end so violently.  Those who have studied violence against women say such incidents between seemingly comfortable couples are not entirely uncommon, but they demonstrate a lack of mechanisms in place to detect domestic abuse.  "Clearly there aren't (enough mechanisms), or this kind of thing wouldn't happen," said Cathleen Fillmore, an expert on violence. "   and who really cares???? not the governments? lawyers, courts, pastors??? for they still do tend to encourage the marriage break up wrongfully instead..
 
What really is needed is mandatory divorce counseling before couples go ahead with divorce, but the  way thinks are it is very likely the counselor, pastors, lawyer ends up sleeping with one of the spouse and would wrongfully recommend divorce anyway.. and third parties who do that should be fired, prosecuted  now too.  When one of the spouses clearly firsthand too knows they are now even being abused by the lies, the dishonesty, unethical behavior of the other spouse in a divorce, separation  proceeding, then personally revenge, taking back justice, through action with one's own hands is a too common normal reaction.
 
Thousands of years ago Jesus said men and women are equal sinners too. Divorce, even murder often is caused by one's personal inability to cope with   life.  It is my own basic  view that each case of divorce today can be reduced likely to one of five categories:  too altruistic behavior, acutely psychotic behavior, covetousness behaviors, no longer a wanted partner, and also revenge against a partner.  "Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:21.  
 
While  it is still  not too uncommon for both men and women to be tempted with sexual desire for someone other than their mate it is a severe sin that God readily punish us for here on earth as Kind David and Israel found out firsthand too, even if your pastor lies to you and may say this is not so too.
 
(1 Cor 5:9 KJV)  I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators:10  Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world. 11  But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolater, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat. 12  For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within? 13  But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person. 6:1  Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints? 2  Do ye not know that the saints shall judge the world? and if the world shall be judged by you, are ye unworthy to judge the smallest matters? 3  Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? 4  If then ye have judgments of things pertaining to this life, set them to judge who are least esteemed in the church. 5  I speak to your shame. Is it so, that there is not a wise man among you? no, not one that shall be able to judge between his brethren?
 
Here is another reality, one has to try to reconcile a divided marriage not rather work wrongfully to break it up, as its too often the case, and in reality in  almost all cases where there is a marriage break up and they are not quickly shortly reunited  as a result a long term separation, or a divorce permanently tends to occur, and note this one of the parties next tends to becomes unfaithful, does commits sexual immorality too as a result even due to one's false lusts, where a persons 's own  false ego may also be involved in thinking they are desirable to others. Sex with someone else is still too often today falsely presented as a thrilling prospect of supposed personal sexual gratification  or an extra-marital affair as an adventuresome escapade  but the reality it is far from this false concepts.. there is next as a result still despair, guilt next, even bitterness, hatred, and a lot more negatives in reality too.
 
(Prov 5:3 KJV)  For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:4   But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. 5 Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.
 
or
 
(2 Sam 13:10 KJV)  And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Ta mar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. 11  And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister. 12  And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly. 13  And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee. 14  Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her. 15  Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone. 16  And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her. 17  Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her.
 
"Well let me also now say, nothing Iím going to say here is intended to take away any of the responsibility towards your past, existing marriage, of still even trying to make it work, or not  to make light of wedding vows. Nor I am not going to try and hold you blameless for mistake either, or my self. For we all sin and fail, we are sinners and we are not perfect and we need to see we do fail due to even our own sins, admit them, ask for God's forgiveness, help to go on. To go on where God leads us not where we want to go still. "
 
(Psa 37:23 KJV)  The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.
 
"I think I understand many of the battles that  you also do fight because I too have been there now firstly.   And I am not going to go through all my own problems are why the marriage didnít make it. I equally take the blame on myself, if I would have done many things different maybe we would have made it. After all 26 years is a long time to be with someone, and to have three wonderful kids, to have spent all my life and my wifeís life in church, what went wrong? The bottom line is both of us failed, we took our eyes off God and focused on ourselves, no we didnít know we were, we didnít plan on it, yet we did. The last symptom  about my own failures was that once the bond of trust is broke you are on an up hill battle from there on. What breaks that bond of trust is not just a husband or wife cheating or flirting with the opposite sex, it is not just  how they  handled the money, the lies you told each other. The unacceptable lack of real love, inability wrongfully to forgive by one spouse has caused, lead to the divorce procedure.. Theses sins lead to more disasters.
 
And the negative Symptoms can be   a big sense of the other person not loving enough or lack of showing love. Still the reasons for the break up are many, on both of the spouses part,  and they can be eventually understood, and this here is not  intent of what God is placed on my heart it  is not to try and tell you now how maybe you can o fix the damage in a failed marriage in a few minutes, which is unlikely in every troubled marriages still too, but to address mainly those people that the marriage clearly has ready failed and are they now headed for the divorce courts. To talk to those that could people still maybe restore the home front but not guaranteed to do so still. Since both parties likely relay need to change too often and one can wrongfully still refuse to do so. The other one may have to go on. Go on to what you may say? God on with and to God firstly.
 
If your marriage still has any hope and you are headed for destroying that wrongfully there will be more pain too,  but what if it is relay too late now , too wrong  to do so? Impossible you may  say? Maybe not I say!"
 
One of the sad aspect of a marriage break up is one partner tends to claim to be totally innocent next even falsely blaming the other party in full, generally for the most part still not the reality, far from the truth.  Both men and women do now personally contribute to marital break up now as well. In reality some men do  become so engrossed in their job or business, while some women become so engrossed in their own goals. even relatives, parents  until they have little time for their own spouse and family. They do become obsessed with it all  and it doesn't take a spouse rightfully who feels neglected and unloved under these conditions to next  want to leave the marriage. Some of he real problems in most failed marriages still is simply the laziness, ignorance, false expectations,  and impatience.
 
Sex still is not the main goal, purpose  of any marriage now as well. A marital relationship is. The Lack of supposed valid sexual satisfaction, real or imagined,  due to the too often glorified overemphasis of sex on every hand is still a very  false reason to commit sin.. our resulting lack of intimacy with our spouse may merely reflect the reality that we have lost our first love our intimacy with Jesus himself firstly.. (Rev 2:4 KJV)  Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love. 5   Remember therefore from whence thou art fallen, and repent, and do the first works; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will remove thy candlestick out of his place, except thou repent.
 
"One newly wed wife said she expected bells to ring, sirens to wail and psychedelic lights to flash on and off. When this didn't happen she thought she had been cheated. This negative thinking soon resulted in her thinking the trouble was with her husband. He wasn't the romantic lover she thought he would be. Consequently she turned to another man for love and sexual satisfaction. However it didn't take her long to discover this really wasn't the answer to her problem." Some persons are disappointed with their  marriage in general. They may be still immature or still simply unable to accept the responsibility, the hard work  that goes with marriage. Getting married does not mean you have an easy life now  and that you will  even prosper as a result too, , all will go well for you in life.. that is a really unrealistic, false expectation of what a marriage is.. To many people official  marriage is a form of bondage or a yoke they do not want to wear. In their frustration they think that maybe another woman or another man is the true answer to their problem. It is very easy to imagine that the grass is greener in another pasture and wrongfully not commit oneself to the marriage.
 
In fact earthly Romanticism is generally a false lustful spirit designed to take our life, goals, thoughts  away from God, Jesus Christ. The real problem in most marriages still is simply the laziness, ignorance, false expectations,  and impatience. The Sexual fulfillment  does not always come quickly nor easily, and is a reward of the hard work putt into the marriage.
 
But there are also still cases in which one marriage partner, even in pastor's home too now,  is actually guilty of withholding themselves from sexual union with their mate even because they wrongfully have someone else in mind. It could be the man or the woman. A prolonged situation such as this can lead to the deprived mate also turning to another for sexual gratification.  God's word says, "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto her husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one another, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency." I Cor. 7:3-5.
 
(Luke 8:13 KJV)  They on the rock are they, which, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root, which for a while believe, and in time of temptation fall away.
 
(1 Th 4:1 KJV)  Furthermore then we beseech you, brethren, and exhort you by the Lord Jesus, that as ye have received of us how ye ought to walk and to please God, so ye would abound more and more. 2  For ye know what commandments we gave you by the Lord Jesus. 3  For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: 4  That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; 5  Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: 6  That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. 7  For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. 8  He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us his holy Spirit.  9  But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another. 10  And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more; 11  And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you; 12  That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.
 
It is also said that one of  the greatest cause of marital trouble among many married couples next leading to separation and divorce is supposedly the money problems or the lack of finances in reality the rather unrestrained personal lusts, even idolatry,  and this next often also leads further to one of the spouse's infidelity or unfaithfulness. Actually most of the financial problems  firstly are caused not only firstly by uncontrolled  personal lust, ignorance, inexperience, spiritual and physical immaturity still. Many persons  do not know what it means to be frugal, simply  and to live within their means or they now wrongfully refuse to do so. This lusts and resulting  frustration lead to arguments and fights with each one  blaming the other for their trouble.  TV and radio, billboard Commercial that promote prosperity clearly  add to the problems.
 
(1 Tim 6:10 KJV)  For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
 
(1 Tim 6:11 KJV)  But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness
 
(1 Tim 6:8 KJV)  And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.
 
(1 Tim 6:9 KJV)  But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.
 
(Heb 13:5 KJV)  Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. 6  So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.
 
(1 Tim 6:17 KJV)  Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not high-minded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;18 That they do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to distribute, willing to communicate;19  Laying up in store for themselves a good foundation against the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life. 20 O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called: 21   Which some professing have erred concerning the faith. Grace be with thee. Amen.
 
From a distance also the grass always seems to look greener in another pasture. And you are not as subject to notice the thistles, cockleburs and weeds in the other pasture as you are in your own.
 
(James 4:1 KJV)  From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?
 
(Mat 19:6 KJV)  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
 
(Acts 10:15 KJV)  And the voice spake unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, that call not thou common.
 
 Interfering, meddling  friends, neighbors, relatives and/or Sexual infidelity can seriously help to cause a marital division. The  lack of marital togetherness or marital unity can expedite a marriage to break up next. . (Luke 11:17 KJV)  But he, knowing their thoughts, said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and a house divided against a house falleth.
 
It is also true that when a man or woman is left out of the other spouse's  life in these things they are subject to turn to for the worse... God has made man to share with others. When he is denied this privilege he tends to be very  lonely and unhappy. A vacuum is created that must be filled. In this condition a man or woman will give their affection and love to the one that fills the vacuum. Psalms 133:1 says, "Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!" applies to a marriage now too.. a church.. a home.
 
If you do still  steal, commit wicked deeds your spouse will likely despise you next for it and sex will not solve the marriage too 
 
II Cor. 7:1 says, "Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God."
 
 Prov. 31:10-11 says, "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil."  Apostle Peter tells the wives that outward adornment such as hair, jewelry and clothing is not as important in winning their husbands as the inward adornment of a meek and a quiet spirit. I Peter 3:1-4.
 
(Prov 12:4 KJV)  A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
 
(Prov 14:30 KJV)  A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.
 
(Isa 5:24 KJV)  Therefore as the fire devoureth the stubble, and the flame consumeth the chaff, so their root shall be as rottenness, and their blossom shall go up as dust: because they have cast away the law of the LORD of hosts, and despised the word of the Holy One of Israel.
 
Some people still do even when married the do still now even have an Avenue of an unclean,  evil spirits. When a person begins to play the field in sexual permissiveness even before or after a marriage they are subject to receive a sex demon. It is believed that one of the seven devils that went out of Mary Magdalene was such a spirit. Luke 8:2. These people are often incapable next of removing that evil spirit as well.
 
I saw firsthand in a Hospital an ostrich type  mother indifferent to her very critically ill child because she wanted rather  to be on a date with her boyfriend.. men are like that too now.. I have seen such behavior since still too often by men and women. Someone how too many people likely because of commercials have been  wrongfully led to believe life should be easy and it is sex that will make you happy.... life is really hard for many persons in reality.. many.. we all seem to have a hard cross to bear... and even sex is not the answer. Jesus alone is.
 
"King Arthur had a wife who next wanted a n adulterous boyfriend  Lancelot to seduce her".. this kind of demonic fantasy is the unacceptable reality of many ungodly women even today. Too often today  a wife (or a husband)  who is proceeding with divorce is being led by her sexual hormones, lusts , and that is the number one reasons for almost all of the divorces by women as well today.. they watch too much sex on TV, women's magazines, advertisements and they think they should have the same life.. sex does not make one happy.. Jesus alone does. (Psa 51:10-12 KJV) "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. {11} Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me. {12} Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit."
 
All the cases where I was able to reconcile the partners, they had to admit, deal with the truths... in other words they had to repent, of these sins, admit how sinful they themselves were, are. .. all of them.. and the still lazy people who do now really not stay in God's word, cause they are spoiled rotten and undisciplined now too  God in irony allows them to be divorce, to be punished..
 
And what has the Father or the Mother in law, Pastor  to do with it? How often do we see this now too? In  the state of Washington a police chief even shot his wife.. and recently the news media reported that Restraining order served on B.C. man hours before wife, mother-in-law slain- - MISSION, B.C. -- A man was being sought after his wife and mother-in-law were shot to death at a hospital had been served with a restraining order hours earlier for harassing his wife, RCMP said..  This same person later shot and killed himself when the police had found him.   These deaths are tragic and likely could have been prevented here and elsewhere too now ..if they had been adequately dealt with next not by easy divorce, restraining orders but by the decent proper pastoral counseling..  sadly outside meddlers do interfere in marriages in reality too, relatives included. I also whole heartily agree that a wife going behind her husband's back to her relatives, to her pastors, to others and not talking firstly to her husband is immoral.. is still a sin of rebellion as well and I pray she also really now, next repents of this and stops doing this as well.        "
 
If a pastor, counselor, husband  wants to successfully deal with this he needs also to deal and expose these three items
 
A women tends not to file for divorce unless
 
1: She already in her mind, or in reality has a sexual partner substitute..
 
2: She has built up or acquired a cash reserve for the lawyers, divorce court battles..
 
3: She has the wrong immoral support of her family, friends, associated, community to carry out this wrong adulterous divorce..
 
Those are the facts of life as Jesus told me relating to divorce..
 
- A women has the false immoral  support of her family, and false friends, sadly even pastors,  when she applies for divorce.. they are immoral like her and they need to be told this too..  do not hesitate to tell them the whole truth
 
- A women does not file for divorce unless she in her  own real mind she has a substitute sex partner planed next already too.. she will next rush to him.. even though it is mostly also a fantasy not known to others .. unrealistic expectations of life.. a key contributory cause to the sexual divorces mostly today... but you had already agreed with this I see..
 
- Also do tell Her the wife  that before she tries to remove the beam from her husband she needs to still first deal with the beam in her own eye.. first and she needs to let Jesus still make any of the changes in the marriage .. in his time and his way..
 
- A women also  does not  file for divorce unless he has at least 10- 15, 000 dollars stashed away to pay the lawyers, and she also expects to make money form the divorce.. and that still makes her an sexual and now economic prostitute.. admit it or not this is a fact.
 
- and the way she is now treating her husband is the sadly way she responds to God as well in realty and that too still is unacceptable.
 
Now I have often seen, encountered  this pattern. For example I had told one of my business partner that his wife was having an affair and was palling to divorce him.. he totally disbelieved me.. could I blame it.. it is a shocking jolt to the system. I knew it cause she had asked me out on a date that I had rightfully turned down. He was troubled by what I had said and he went home and thought about.. He decided that he would go through his wife personal affairs and discovered that she had salted away, hidden from him 15,000 dollars. He had  found a bank deposit book in one of her boots. But this man denied his wife was filing for her divorce or was having an affair. A few weeks later during a heated  quarrel with his wife, his wife blurted out, you are not the only one I have slept with, I have slept with two other guys now as well.. A few months later she field for divorce and divorce him.
 
The 15,000 dollars was given to her by her brother for the divorce.. .
 
(Prov 31:12 KJV)  She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
 
(Exo 20:14 KJV)  Thou shalt not commit adultery.
 
(Exo 20:17 KJV)  Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.
 
(Mat 5:28 KJV)  But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
 
(Ezek 33:31 KJV)  And they come unto thee as the people cometh, and they sit before thee as my people, and they hear thy words, but they will not do them: for with their mouth they show much love, but their heart goeth after their covetousness.
 
(Jer 18:12 KJV)  And they said, There is no hope: but we will walk after our own devices, and we will every one do the imagination of his evil heart.
 
(Jer 18:  KJV)   8   If that nation, against whom I have pronounced, turn from their evil, I will repent of the evil that I thought to do unto them. 9 And at what instant I shall speak concerning a nation, and concerning a kingdom, to build and to plant it; 10  If it do evil in my sight, that it obey not my voice, then I will repent of the good, wherewith I said I would benefit them. 11  ...  Thus saith the LORD; Behold, I frame evil against you, and devise a device against you: return ye now every one from his evil way, and make your ways and your doings good.
 
(Rom 8:28 KJV)  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose... and that now means now your supposedly bad marriage or your past divorce now as well..
 
(Prov 16:25 KJV)  There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
 
(Mark 10:9 KJV)  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.10 And in the house his disciples asked him again of the same matter.11  And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. 
 
So all things do work out for the good  of those who love God, but the evil persons rather  fall into the pit they dug with their own hands still, next.. that includes divorce now too.. Too many times today many people even supposedly Christian persons they do  take an ostrich approach to the Bible, and their unrepentant sins.. they do wrongfully deny the Bible, History that there will be  any negative consequences too for it..
 
Their real lack of faith in God causes these people to wrongfully consider  alternative explanations, alternative approaches to God's ways? Sound very familiar.. does it now remind of Abraham and his wife Sarah? where Sarah  had added a human approach wrongfully to God's way, will.. to get a son !
 
 (Gen 16:1 KJV)  Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai. Sarah next  lived to regret her wrong humanistic approach as well to God's plan, will.. (Gen 16:4 KJV)  And he( Abraham)  went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes.   5  And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee.  God next  returned Abraham to God's original will, for Abrham to have a son through his original wife as well.  (Gen  17:15 KJV)  And God said unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be.16   And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her.
 
 
God is not taken by surprised by any of this he still has all things under control
 
(2 Pet 2:7 KJV)     And delivered just Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked: 8  (For that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed his righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful deeds;) 9  The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations, and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be punished:
 
(John 2:24 KJV)  But Jesus did not commit himself unto them, because he knew all men, 25  And needed not that any should testify of man: for he knew what was in man.
 
Sadly divorce is on the increase even among Christians wrongfully , with more women filing for divorces than men as well
 
Telling all the parties the truth is the first part..  you can start by sending them this.. if you really do now  want to fully help, deal with this practically.
 
Furthermore the People who could  approve of divorce, could also next approve of  abortion and would approve of murder next too..  -Divorced persons  they will live on the average of 8 years less too.. all of this just  for a start. The people who get divorce on the average will increase their health problems due to the related stress of a divorce, cause divorce is from hell and not from God.. we sadly  really still cannot always stop many of the  persons suffering really hard next too no matter how much we do  care for, really do love them, just like the prodigal son they too may  have to mostly learn the hard way by a divorce too  and to take the real hard, long way home too.. -and they never  experience the real fruit of the Holy Spirit of peace, gentleness.. during or after...
 
What really is needed again is mandatory divorce counseling before couples go ahead with divorce. 
 
With the measure you measure it will be measured back to you.. for (Gal 6:7 KJV)  Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
 
This  verse still applies for all of  her false divorce supporters too.. I know of many selfish, unrepentant Friends, neighbours, mothers who wrecked marriages.. lives.. and did not stop doing it too. they all also still needs to really  repent,  get right with God, the wife and  the husband too..
 
God sees what people will be like at the end after they go through much more hell on earth.. and then may admit how bad they are and the world is.. we sadly  really still cannot stop any of the  persons suffering really hard next too no matter how much we do  care for, really do love them, just like the prodigal son they too may  have to mostly learn the hard way take the long way home too..
 
(Ezek 14:19  KJV)   Or if I send a pestilence into that land, and pour out my fury upon it in blood, to cut off from it man and beast: 20  Though Noah, Daniel, and Job, were in it, as I live, saith the Lord GOD, they shall deliver neither son nor daughter; they shall but deliver their own souls by their righteousness. ... 23  And they shall comfort you, when ye see their ways and their doings: and ye shall know that I have not done without cause all that I have done in it, saith the Lord GOD.
 
All simple too
 
Praying they will respond to the truth presented is another matter  .. but it  still means the truth has to be told.
 
Now!  No pit that you many be in, have fallen into,  is still is deep enough that God can not help you out off but still only  if you let him, not everyone does or will next too still.
 
Eph. 4:32 says, "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
 
(1 Cor 4:21 KJV)  What will ye? shall I come unto you with a rod, or in love, and in the spirit of meekness?
 
(Gal 6:1 KJV)  Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
 
(Eph 4:2 KJV)  With all lowliness and meekness, with long-suffering, forbearing one another in love;
 
(Col 3:12 KJV)  Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering;
 
(1 Tim 6:11 KJV)  But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.
 
(2 Tim 2:25 KJV)  In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth;
 
(Titus 3:2 KJV)  To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, showing all meekness unto all men.
 
(James 1:21 KJV)  Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.
 
(James 3:13 KJV)  Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him show out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.
 
(1 Pet 3:15 KJV)  But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:
 
(1 Cor 7:29 KJV)  But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; 30  And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; 31  And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
 
(1 Th 5:23 KJV)  And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.
 
Need Help ask God for it, he will always help you if you humbly ask,  he maybe may still not help still your spouse but he will help you if you let him.
 
 
"I really have Failed - even in My Marriage! What Now?
 
(Rom 8:28 KJV)  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
 
"I Failed " some would say and other may wrongfully replied so what? showing they really don't care especially about you and your hurts, and we get hurt, angry bitter some more.
 
Trying by oneself to  take back control of one's life. WOW! "I have failed,  I am really hurt and upset at it", This is something I run into still too often it seems."I REALLY STILL  CAN'T MAKE THINGS TO COME BACK TO THE WAY THEY WERE BEFORE". Maybe you really are not meant to?   I find that I talk to so many in life and on the Internet that feel so guilty and lost because somewhere they have messed up. and they now do want still to have back now their old ways they had before.
 
Many persons with a failed marriage do  feel so guilty and lost because somewhere they have messed up. and they now do want still to have back now their old ways they had before.  Why? Persons from a troubled marriage  do often  felt they are deeply hurting because they felt still  so alone inside, and then if left alone even physically as well the weight next still becomes even more unbearable"Revenge.. A Normal selfish and common temptation when a marriage is being ended. Why? Even " two out of three professing Christians even I talk to that are facing a broken marriage are also fighting the resulting still deep depression and the satanic real urge to take their or someone else's life.  Satan the accuser of the brethren and their past life, failure, pride is hurting them and their failures continue to remind them they have failed and continue more to hurt them too, they  are still now solely concentrating on self, not God even". Their relationship has mainly been around themselves and their spouse clearly too, and they now really wrongfully had left God out of the picture almost. So know they do not know really what to do instead and suicide, and/or revenge on others is the first common,, wrong  knee jerk reaction.  They donít sit and plan to do it, it and the devil it sort of sneaks up on them. In their hearts they know initially  it's wrong, but the hurts, the mind and  head just wonít shut up. . "so they react in the flesh. Even divorce lawyers who should have really known better  themselves have been known to kill their divorcing spouse
 
(1 Ki 8:46 KJV)  If they sin against thee, (for there is no man that sinneth not,) and thou be angry with them, and deliver them to the enemy, so that they carry them away captives unto the land of the enemy, far or near; 47  Yet if they shall bethink themselves in the land whither they were carried captives, and repent, and make supplication unto thee in the land of them that carried them captives, saying, We have sinned, and have done perversely, we have committed wickedness; 48  And so return unto thee with all their heart, and with all their soul, in the land of their enemies, which led them away captive, and pray unto thee toward their land, which thou gavest unto their fathers, the city which thou hast chosen, and the house which I have built for thy name: 49  Then hear thou their prayer and their supplication in heaven thy dwelling place, and maintain their cause, 50  And forgive thy people that have sinned against thee, and all their transgressions wherein they have transgressed against thee, and give them compassion before them who carried them captive, that they may have compassion on them: (Heb 8:12 KJV)  For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.
 
AND SOME WRONGFULLY WILL SAY Then what is the point of God, or of living if we cannot have our way?
 
(Mark 8:33 KJV)  But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men.
 
(Luke 4:8 KJV)  And Jesus answered and said unto him, Get thee behind me, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve.
 
(Mat 16:23 KJV)  But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.
 
That is part of the real main problem we have been living our own selfish ways and the devils. those of other men and women,  and not God's way, will  firstly.
(Prov 14:12 KJV)  There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
 
(Isa 66:3 KJV)  He that killeth an ox is as if he slew a man; he that sacrificeth a lamb, as if he cut off a dog's neck; he that offereth an oblation, as if he offered swine's blood; he that burneth incense, as if he blessed an idol. Yea, they have chosen their own ways, and their soul delighteth in their abominations. 4 I also will choose their delusions, and will bring their fears upon them; because when I called, none did answer; when I spake, they did not hear: but they did evil before mine eyes, and chose that in which I delighted not. 5 Hear the word of the LORD, ye that tremble at his word; Your brethren that hated you, that cast you out for my name's sake, said, Let the LORD be glorified: but he shall appear to your joy, and they shall be ashamed. 6  A voice of noise from the city, a voice from the temple, a voice of the LORD that rendereth recompense to his enemies.7 Before she travailed, she brought forth; before her pain came, she was delivered of a man child.
 
(Isa 43:19 KJV)  Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.
 
(Psa 37:25 KJV)  I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.
 
(Jer 51:5 KJV)  For Israel hath not been forsaken, nor Judah of his God, of the LORD of hosts; though their land was filled with sin against the Holy One of Israel.
God will do a new thing, he will change you, your OWN heart, your own  soul if you let him firstly.
 
God will now next personally really help you, forgive you when you fail but he will not always still necessarily restore your old marriage, your old job, or what you lost, your money, house and your health included. Sometimes you have to go on.. on with God that is.
 
(Phil 3:13 KJV)  Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
 
(Phil 3:14 KJV)  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.
 
(Phil 3:15 KJV)  Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.

Many people set too high standards for themselves that most of us will fail and we next will personally greatly be disillusioned, depressed. We failed to understand what has let to our depression and failures as well.. Ambition and lust Goals not set by God but by ourselves and other people.  Some persons wrongfully even fail to set any decent standards and they too will suffer for it next.
 
Lets look next at this kind of  resulting failure depression a moment, many persons do not understand it at all, they just canít understand how anyone would ever consider next suicide, violence, revenge as a valid way of solving their problems.
 
Most people that reach this place are still real  people and if you see them on the surface you really wonít even know it. They sit in church ever week, they smile, they joke, they go to their jobs and perform well. They mostly arenít out drinking or doing illegal drugs, they have kids and homes, and a broken heart, a marriage that has already failed or about too. They donít sit and plan to do it, it and the devil it sort of sneaks up on them. In their hearts they know initially  it's wrong, but the mind and  head just wonít shut up.
 
At first the persons from a troubled marriage felt they are deeply hurting because they felt still  so alone inside, and then if left alone even physically as well the weight next still becomes even more unbearable. So they do try to take the hint from books, tapes, bad friends, some even learn to talk I mean really talk to each other, make time to listen, to hold, to show love and caring and yet they cannot resolve the problem for the problem is also the other persons often. They can say I care, I love you, but if you or they canít talk, if you or they don't, canít listen to each other, if you are married and canít still feel the pain in your heart for your spouse you are both in for really big troubles. And you next should not leave them alone, for long periods of time, you are clearly asking for a quicker failed marriage. If the spouse has to  relocate due to what ever reason go with them. If your husband has to drive over the road, and then you go with him, learn to drive a truck too. If you love your wife and Christ maybe you should consider a job in a factory, or selling shoes before you leave your spouse behind because next the real the pain without them next will almost kill you still too.. People too often and bad pastors, bad counselors too try to take the supposedly easy way, the way out of the marriage and it turns out to be the long wrong hard way for them in reality personally still. Why
 
(Mal 2:16 KJV)  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
 
(Mal 2:17 KJV)  Ye have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, Every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delighteth in them; or, Where is the God of judgment?
 
(Deu 12:8 KJV)  Ye shall not do after all the things that we do here this day, every man whatsoever is right in his own eyes.
 
Facing positively more of the negatives.. The resulting marital, divorce depression slips in, the hours of watching TV, soon you donít even know what was on, you donít hear the words, then you find you donít want to go to the store by yourself, you donít want to eat, cause nothing is worse then eating alone. Who really enjoys sitting in a restaurant with no one across from you? You next even find no joy in a movie or going any place so you sit alone. You find yourself reaching out to just talk to anyone, thus chat rooms, and ICQ, and still all of this is a sure way to end up getting hurt more, and more but why? Firstly you are trying to fill in the God shaped vacuum in your own life with a replacement for God himself likely still.
 
(Jer 2:13 KJV)  For my people have committed two evils; they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and hewed them out cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water. (Jer 4:22 KJV)  For my people is foolish, they have not known me; they are sottish children, and they have none understanding: they are wise to do evil, but to do good they have no knowledge. (Jer 4:23 KJV)  I beheld the earth, and, lo, it was without form, and void; and the heavens,   and they had no light.
 
Really do now Stop taking worldly advice of Looking to be loved, looking for love in the wrong places and this still is what most people do wrongfully next too.
 
(Jer 29:32 KJV)  Therefore thus saith the LORD; Behold, I will punish Shemaiah the Nehelamite, and his seed: he shall not have a man to dwell among this people; neither shall he behold the good that I will do for my people, saith the LORD; because he hath taught rebellion against the LORD.
 
Stop the lust now looking for,  to  the first substitutionary spouse, person that seems to care about you. You are so hungry to want to be loved and feel needed, trouble is most are dogs in worse places and shape then you are. Many people do lie to you and give you bad advice, for they still mostly seek only what you can do for them personally physically, while there are some wonderful people even on the net, but I assure you most are not. Not even in churches.  Why be surprised, they are the same people you see in the grocery store and wouldnít even consider to carry your bags to the car for you. Yet on the net you may become invisible and so are they, you let go a side of you, you never show when eyes are upon you. You may unload your heart, to people on the net, at work, at churches, elsewhere and then you find out the truth too late, they really don't care to help you, they only pretended they did, and you are even more crushed. You many next find some of the words of love and all the sweet messages,even  the small gifts exchanged, even the casual meeting were all designed maybe to solve  a need of being alone or wanting sex and not so much really them personally still caring for you, or really wanting you mow too and you will be more disappointed, more depressed.
 
(Mat 6:31 KJV)  Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? 32  (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. 33  But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. 34  Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
 
You still may seek to have your friendship need to be fulfilled. (Prov 18:24 KJV)  A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
 
You still may seek to have your friendship need to be fulfilled.  But the person you are talking is seeking something else totally differently still.  It is a  fact is that you will end up being hurt at least three to five times next even by people you think love you even on the net before you may even  find one that is sincere. Well that certainly doesnít means that people, even churches, even  the net is not a way to find someone again next  in your life. Just face it knowing they are on the net are really still unresolved troubled persons also looking for the same reasons you are. They are hiding in a way from the world; this is a easy way to cover something up. You say how can I be so sure? The real undeniable experience and the words of so many that have counseled and that  have been there. The critical point here also is that is any relationship that even has to start with deceit or a lie is one bound for failure even friendship. Most people lie every 3 to 5 minutes still.  I met a person that says they  just want a friend, sends me a picture, weeks later after in fact we found we could be friends, and he next says said gee Iím sorry I didnít send you my real picture. I asked why? Because I am only 5 feet tall and weigh 260 pounds. Why am I saying all this, because it leads to deep sense of lost inside, you end up feeling you can trust no one at all. No one really cared about the real you.
 
So another important  lesson : Be honest 100% from the beginning, while you do also use appropriate declare too,  and accept nothing less than full honesty from all those you do  talk to. Donít add to the pain, the frustration and fear of the truth coming out but don't accept the liars still too  If you are fat, bald, bad eyes, no leg, been divorced ten times, gone to jail, what ever donít fully hide it. If a person is worth being a friend to, and if they are worth falling in love with you must always still be open and honest.  Any Relationships built on dishonesty, false pretenses cannot work next for the good of both parties. Likely this was why the first relationship you had with your sponsor, pastor, spouse, relative had  failed you, they had leaned how to deceive, lied to you.
 
Now too often still  you find yourself afraid to even trust those that call themselves Christians for they too have and do  let you down. Again why be surprised? These are the same type of people that sit in the church ever Sunday, sing there songs, preach, and smile at you and shake your hand hoping you sit in the back away from them. The same ones that see you in a short dress and wrongfully  think I wonder how she is in bed, while they shake your hand and smile and say oh God is so good, and its so good to see you. They hope you go to the choir and sit on the front bench and they too do  forget to put your knees together when you sit down. They are the same women that may flirt with you with their eyes and hold your hand to long, the ones that you know and so does anyone else paying attention is also in trouble at home with her hubby. They never talk, never are together and body language says for all to hear, I wish he would sit some place besides by me. O.K. Iím being blunt and honest, let me go ahead, if Iím going to be in trouble let me go all the way. There really is nothing good in most men and women in reality.. beware of men.
 
(Mat 7:15 KJV)  Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 16  Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 17  Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. 18  A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 19  Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 20  Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. 21  Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. 22  Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? 23  And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. 24  Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: 25  And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.
 
Itís the same too often bad preacher that while heís praying for you, he really likes laying on of hands, he hopes you will fall out in a way that gives a good view, he wants to hug and you can feel he pulls you a little closer then he should. Heís the guy that canít take his eyes off you while he preaches, and always seems to find a way to talk to you, oh asking such innocent questions. he has wrong, false motives for caring about you too.
 
 My advice is learning to read the signs in person and that will help you to read them on the net too. Its no wonder you feel so alone and lost and with out hope, 80% of the Christians should be called Satan's followers still, for they are not truly of God. Iím sorry I too have spent all my life in church and around preachers, I have learned more dirty and slanted jokes from them then on any job. I have them make more comment bout the ladies in a suggestive way then the guys at work, at least the ones at work do it in the open, and you know what they are.
 
Mat 7:15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
 
Let me say preachers are human, just like you are, so they mess up. The problem isnít messing up itís the undeniable and unrepented of hypocrisies thatís still their problem.
 
1 Pet 1:25 But the word of the Lord endureth forever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.
 
1 Pet 2:1 Wherefore laying aside all malice, and all guile, and hypocrisies, and envies, and all evil speakings,
 
All this adds to a greater feeling of lost hope, you pray and God donít hear you? Have you been there, I have and what do you do then?
 
Mat 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
 
Mat 5:45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
 
Mat 6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
 
Mat 6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
 
Mat 6:7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
 
Mat 6:8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.
 
Mat 6:9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
 
Mat 6:10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
 
Mat 6:11 Give us this day our daily bread.
 
Mat 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
 
Mat 6:13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.
 
Mat 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
 
Mat 6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
 
Mat 6:16 Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
 
Mat 6:17 But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face;
 
Mat 6:18 That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.
 
This next verse is one we should be doing before we get in trouble not wait till we are all ready. Itís a part of the preventive medicine.
 
Mat 26:41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
 
Mark 11:24 Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.
 
Mark 11:25 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.
 
Mark 11:26 But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.
 
O.K. here is a big key as to why you still canít be heard. You are hurting, your husband, wife, friend, lover, or pastor, church member, son or daughter have all hurt you. You canít receive anything from God till you forgive yourself and them too, and how do you know you have really forgiven them?  Forgiving them means letting God now himself deal appropriately with them as he wants and not you. After all that is his job still and not yours.
 
(Rom 14:4 KJV)  Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.
 
(Isa 63:4 KJV)  For the day of vengeance is in mine heart, and the year of my redeemed is come.
 
(Rom 12:19 KJV)  Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
 
Thus by forgiving them and when the bitterness is gone, when the anger is gone, in its place you feel rather next really sorry for them and you will even pray for them and ask then also to repent.
 
So donít hold on to him or it but let God handle him or her. You seek God and let God show you what to do.  The thing is though when this happens something in you snaps, you still may feel so lost so alone, you may take pornography instead, bury yourself in food, into trying to do more good works to get favour with others, or drinking more alcohol, taking bad drugs, or you grab a bottle of pills you just take em. You cut your wrists, you grab that old gun off the shelve, I should be dead today and many of you, but for some reason God saved us. The reason is you still have a work to do for him and for yourself  and he still wants you to be  happy. Firstly
 
Mark 13:33 Take ye heed, watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is.
 
Mark 13:34 For the Son of man is as a man taking a far journey, who left his house, and gave authority to his servants, and to every man his work, and commanded the porter to watch.
 
Mark 13:35 Watch ye therefore: for ye know not when the master of the house cometh, at even, or at midnight, or at the cock crowing, or in the morning:
 
Mark 13:36 Lest coming suddenly he find you sleeping.
 
Mark 13:37 And what I say unto you I say unto all, Watch.
 
(Acts 9:31 KJV)  Then had the churches rest throughout all Judaea and Galilee and Samaria, and were edified; and walking in the fear of the Lord, and in the comfort of the Holy Ghost, were multiplied.
 
(2 Cor 1:4 KJV)  Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. 5  For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ. 6  And whether we be afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effectual in the enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer: or whether we be comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. 7  And our hope of you is stedfast, knowing, that as ye are partakers of the sufferings, so shall ye be also of the consolation. 8  For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life: 9  But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead: 10  Who delivered us from so great a death, and doth deliver: in whom we trust that he will yet deliver us;
 
OK do you really want to die in that really unspirtual  condition now as well, no. you know you donít. Here it is folks, you canít help it, and the body reacts as if on its own. Someone needs you, just like you had needed someone. Be also there for them, and trust God. be a good friend and not a bad one for them too.
 
Luke 10:2 Therefore said he unto them, The harvest truly is great, but the labourers are few: pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he would send forth labourers into his harvest.3  Go your ways: behold, I send you forth as lambs among wolves.
 
Now you have your mission in life. But I messed up my marriage is gone, my wife is gone, my husband is gone, Iím not happy. SO?
 
Mat 10:28 And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.
 
If you think your life is hell now, my dear friend you have no ideal how bad it is to lose your soul. Ok you messed up, you failed, some of those Christians (satians) will condemn you and not except you anymore. Gee the church may not let you preach anymore. LOL (laughing out loud) Like who called you to preach, who ordained you,
 
Gal 1:10 For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
 
Gal 1:11 But I certify you, brethren, that the gospel which was preached of me is not after man.
 
Gal 1:12 For I neither received it of man, neither was I taught it, but by the revelation of Jesus Christ.
So why are you so worried bout those that havenít learned to forgive or understand, those that think they stand so mighty and right, the only ones saved.
 
Mat 10:17 But beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues;
 
Mat 10:18 And ye shall be brought before governors and kings for my sake, for a testimony against them and the Gentiles.
 
Mat 10:19 But when they deliver you up, take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak.
 
Mat 10:20 For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you.
 
Mat 10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
 
Mat 10:22 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.
 
Mat 10:23 But when they persecute you in this city, flee ye into another: for verily I say unto you, Ye shall not have gone over the cities of Israel, till the Son of man be come.
 
Mat 10:24 The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above his lord.
 
Mat 10:25 It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master, and the servant as his lord. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more shall they call them of his household?
 
Mat 10:26 Fear them not therefore: for there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known.
 
Mat 16:6 Then Jesus said unto them, Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.
 
Mat 16:12 Then understood they how that he bade them not beware of the leaven of bread, but of the doctrine of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.
 
Mark 12:38 And he said unto them in his doctrine, Beware of the scribes, which love to go in long clothing, and love salutations in the marketplaces,
 
Mark 12:39 And the chief seats in the synagogues, and the uppermost rooms at feasts:
 
Mark 12:40 Which devour widows' houses, and for a pretence make long prayers: these shall receive greater damnation.
 
"Ok admit it was the way I once was too, I thought the rulebooks were the way to go, that I had the answers was always right. And donít this sound a lot like your pastor? He canít wait to lay hands on everyone, he canít wait to put on his robe and sit in his big chair on the stage, he brags bout the people he knows, couldnít say a real prayer cause he donít know how to pray. Ok so you donít like it the way I see it Iím sorry. I have been almost ever kind of church in America and those verses hit home with most pastors and preachers. In case I miss something look at this one, how many times do you hear bout money in the church? Look in the parking lot, what kind of car is your preacher driving while you canít afford a good heap. What kind of suit does he have on, ever notice how many AG preachers that have big diamond rings?"
 
Luke 12:15 And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a manís life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.
 
Word of advice to church members a preacher that also handles the church money your asking for trouble. Not because he means to be a theft, but why would you want your husband or wife to live with the opposite sex and them naked. You donít think something would evenly happen that shouldnít, wrong.
 
Phil 3:2 Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the concision.
 
Col 2:8 Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men,  after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
 
Col 2:9 For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily.
 
Col 2:10 And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power:
 
Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
 
Luke 6:38 Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
 
John 3:17 For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
 
John 3:18 He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
 
God is not condemning you for messing up you are condemning yourself. Stop it. Who cares if others donít know what God is telling you. You know!
 
John 8:10 When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
 
John 8:11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
 
John 8:12 Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.
 
Rom 8:8 So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.
 
Mat 12:41 The men of Nineveh shall rise in judgment with this generation, and shall condemn it: because they repented at the preaching of Jonas; and, behold, a greater than Jonas is here.
 
Mat 12:42 The queen of the south shall rise up in the judgment with this generation, and shall condemn it: for she came from the uttermost parts of the earth to hear the wisdom of Solomon; and, behold, a greater than Solomon is here.
 
Look Christ is out leader our savior, he loves you, he is whom you serve, and he is not here to condemn you. He is not here to say your life is over cause your marriage failed. You canít undo what you did or your spouse did but you can go on and serve him.
1 John 3:20 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.
 
1 John 3:21 Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.
 
1 John 3:22 And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.
 
1 John 3:23 And this is his commandment, That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment.
 
1 John 3:24 And he that keepeth his commandments dwelleth in him, and he in him. And hereby we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit which he hath given us.
 
1 John 4:1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.
 
1 John 4:2 Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:
 
1 John 4:3 And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.
 
1 John 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.
 
let me say firstly that It is still absolutely morally, ethically mandatory that the courts and the lawyers, spouses too  commit again to decent pre divorce marital counseling.
 
 
"Leadership Landmines -It happens all the time.
 
Successful leaders--people with great business acumen, great teams and great vision--are moving along, growing their companies when, all of a sudden, they fall flat on their faces.  Their businesses start hemorrhaging money. Their best people start jumping ship. Their families start falling apart. And they sit at their desks with their heads in their hands wondering, "How did this happen? "I'll tell you how it happened. They were blown up by a problem they never saw coming.- Dr. John C. Maxwell "
 
(Nahum 1:3 KJV)  The LORD is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the LORD hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet.
 
(Prov 29:18 KJV)  Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.
 
Here is some more irony, the last verse is one of the most misquoted verses too that I have come across.. the people who quote it leave out the part "but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." any proper pastoral vision must include him or her observing still God's laws.. all of them now too. That includes God's laws on divorce.. there is no divorce for two married Christian believers under any circumstances.. under any circumstances.. God said so.
 
The Church can't be claiming to fulfill the great commission of bringing people to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ and yet allowing divorce, or abusing, even  persecuting their own members for a start.. I find it very tragic, pathetic, comical the church speaks out against abortions, gays, but not against divorce... or church splits...  and yet God hates divorce, and God punishes those who abuse others. It is not enough to preach some truth to others one has also to personally to live it. Pastors and leaders included.
 
(Mal 2:16 KJV)  For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

GOD HATES DIVORCE AND EVEN ANY OF THE  PASTORS WHO COUNSEL DIVORCE THEY WILL ALSO NEXT WILL REAP NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES, A GARMENT OF VIOLENCE AS WELL...

(Gal 6:7 KJV)  Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8  For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life  everlasting.

 (Mat 18:5 KJV)  And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me. 6  But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. 7  Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh! 8  Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire. 9  And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire. 10  Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.
 
The Church itself too often and clearly does not practice this too
 
(Mat 18:11 KJV)  For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost. 12  How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray? 13  And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray. 14  Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.
 
or this..
 
(Mat 18:15 KJV)  Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16  But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17  And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican. 18  Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19  Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. 20  For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
 
In fact the above verses are so often misquoted and are not mentioned that the direct context is still to disciplining a wayward brother or sister in Christ,
 
(John 13:35 KJV)  By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
 
(Rev 3:19 KJV)  As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
 
(Rev 3:20 KJV)  Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
 
(Rev 3:21 KJV)  To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.
 
To overcome, means to overcome these personal sins mentioned above, even the sins of tolerating, allowing divorces wrongfully too, sins of abusing others..
 
(1 Tim 5:20 KJV)  Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear.
 
(Mat 3:7 KJV)  But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees come to his baptism, he said unto them, O generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee from the wrath to come? 8  Bring forth therefore fruits meet for repentance: 9  And think not to say within yourselves, We have Abraham to our father: for I say unto you, that God is able of these stones to raise up children unto Abraham. 10  And now also the ax is laid unto the root of the trees: therefore every tree which bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 11  I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance: but he that cometh after me is mightier than I, whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: he shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost, and with fire: 12  Whose fan is in his hand, and he will thoroughly purge his floor, and gather his wheat into the garner; but he will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire.
 
More than one,  visibly wicked, immoral pastors have told me that we are not allowed to speak out against, about the sins of bad evangelical  pastors.. well it is very obvious that the prophets, and Jesus himself disagreed, they called them as well to repentance. All it takes for evil to prosper is for good people to do nothing about it still. God will do his part but we have to do our part, which includes asking them to repent as well now.
 
(Mat 12:33 KJV)  Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit.
 
(Mat 23:29 KJV)  Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because ye build the tombs of the prophets, and garnish the sepulchres of the righteous, 
 
(Mat 25:14 KJV)  For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. 15  And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. 16  Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents. 17  And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two. 18  But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord's money.  19  After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. 20  And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more. 21  His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. 22  He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them. 23  His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. 24  Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strowed: 25  And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. 26  His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strowed: 27  Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. 28  Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents. 29  For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. 30  And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.
 
(1 Tim 5:20 KJV)  Them that sin rebuke before all, that others also may fear. 21 I charge thee before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and the elect angels, that thou observe these things without preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality.
 
(Titus 3:1 KJV)  Put them in mind to be subject to principalities and powers, to obey magistrates, to be ready to every good work, 2  To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, showing all meekness unto all men.
 
(Rev 3:19 KJV)  As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.
 
(Rev 3:20 KJV)  Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.
 
(James 3:12 KJV)  Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh. 13  Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him show out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.
 
(Mat 5:13 KJV)  Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men.
 
(Mark 9:50 KJV)  Salt is good: but if the salt have lost his saltness, wherewith will ye season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace one with another.
 
(Mat 5:16 KJV)  Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
 
(1 Tim 5:21 KJV)  I charge thee before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and the elect angels, that thou observe these things without preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality.
 
(Acts 17:30 KJV)  And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men every where to repent: 31  Because he hath appointed a day, in the which he will judge the world in righteousness by that man whom he hath ordained; whereof he hath given assurance unto all men, in that he hath raised him from the dead.
 
(Acts 3:19 KJV)  Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord; 20  And he shall send Jesus Christ, which before was preached unto you: "

Heavenly Father I do pray specifically for each of  the divorcing families and  that all of the  family members they firstly would all get right with God before it is too late, before they next are even made to walk the prodigal son's hard roads so their backsliding can reprove them and show them the error their ways for you are coming for a church without spot and blemish..  I do pray further more that they all now would admit, confess, repent of the sins that are still often the main causes of divorces today. I also would rightfully pray that you us the love to deal with this and that you would show us  the road he should take in approaching these people next and personally still telling them the truth they do need to repent. I do now still pray this all for Jesus glory and in his name. Amen.